


The Ink Bleeds

by Dakumun



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Coffee Shops and Cafes, Deviates From Canon, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Gay, M/M, Shy Jesse McCree, Slow Burn, ex-boyfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10976205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dakumun/pseuds/Dakumun
Summary: Jesse McCree has found himself in a whole new part of the country trying to get his life back in order when he comes across a bookstore that harbors more than just interesting books...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my Bookstore AU where it's all about softness and stuff <3 I realize angst is fun, but sometimes, ya just want to be happy in the feels. 
> 
> This work isn't beta'd so I apologize for any grammar issues/typos you come across. I really hope you enjoy this little deviation from darkness!

This change was for the best. At least that’s what Jesse kept telling himself as he unpacked boxes upon boxes in his small apartment. The tanned and rather pudgy man fumbled through box after box, trying to get his life back in order. He had moved to Seattle to completely escape a bad breakup and get a fresh start. Although being here was the exact opposite of Santa Fe, instead of a vibrant sun shining, he was welcomed with dingy streets and dreary clouds. Exactly how he felt too, depressed and hollow after his heart was ripped out. He shook himself out of it, that’s why he was here after all, to move on from those things and gain a whole new lease on life. Several hours of this monotony and he was satisfied with his progress. Wasn’t too bad for the first day there, the movers had just delivered all of his things that morning. Jesse wanted to get everything back in order as soon as possible to simulate some kind of normalcy. Granted the new apartment was far less space than he was accustomed to. Moving from a spacious loft to a small one bedroom with little to no storage was going to be a challenge, but he figured it would keep his mind and hands busy.

Outside the rain drizzled down on the quiet street he had managed to find. A small pocket of the city where it had a comfortable and cozy feel. Of course the photos he had seen before moving had the area painted a bit differently, but it was a worn but loved neighborhood all the same. Most residents took up living above small stores that families spent their lives to cultivate with all the love and care they could. That was something Jesse adored about it, it was comforting in a sense and reminded him of his grandmother. 

He had finally managed to move his old plaid couch in just the right spot when hunger struck. It was passed 6:30 and he hadn't eaten at all that day, nothing but a cup of instant coffee that made his stomach turn. Jesse had seen a small cafe just a few buildings down when he came through that morning. So there was a good chance of at least getting a little something out of there at the very least. He grabbed his tan leather jacket, complete with tassels and put it on, the fabric stretching over his pudge and muscular arms. Slipping on his cowboy boots and putting on his beat up old stetson, he left the apartment. Jesse lived above a small bakery that was run by a sweet old couple and their son, he had met them earlier that morning. As he passed by, he could see the son carefully cleaning out the display case while his mother swept and the father going back and forth taking loads of delectable pastries to the back of the shop. It was a simple life they lead, but Jesse had never seen a family look that happy.

Jesse’s family was a bit more broken than that. He had never really known his parents, living with his grandmother who taught him how to bake and make people smile. That was all he knew, and whenever he’s ask her about his folks, she seemed beyond reluctant to reply. He didn’t blame her though. His parents, he later found out were mixed up in some pretty rough things, so it was best that he not be associated with them. All in all though, Jesse was happy with how he was brought up, the only chip he had was that damnable ex of his. Shaking his head to snap himself out of it, he pressed on to the cafe.

The cafe was nestled just a few buildings down, it was quaint enough and had a decent amount of customers for it’s size. As soon as Jesse opened the door, the scent of freshly ground coffee beans filled his nose and the soft sound of guitar strumming over the loudspeaker filled his ears. The case had a plethora of delicious looking baked goods that he dreamt about dipping into a piping hot cup of coffee. Jesse approached the counter eagerly with a smile, this was the first thing he’d be ordering in his new neighborhood, so he wanted to make a good impression. 

“Hello, what can I get for you today sir?” A young woman who looked to be no older than twenty popped up from behind the counter. She had short black hair that was mostly tucked up underneath a beat up baseball cap and a broad smile on her face, blue eyes sparkling as she spoke.

Jumping in mild surprise Jesse replied, “Hey there! Could I get a cup of yer finest home brew and two of those banana nut muffins please?” 

The woman nodded happily as she rang up his order and put it together in a flash. He could tell she was well versed in the way this cafe worked. She bounced around from station to station getting everything ready. Even though she was fast, she looked comfortable and natural, a way he hoped to appear after he settled into the new city. Cheerfully she handed him the coffee and a small brown bag with the muffins. Jesse felt comfortable and welcome, he'd definitely be back there again, if anything just for the atmosphere if the muffins weren't any good. 

When he stepped out the rain was coming down harder than ever and the visibility worsened. The streets were sparse with people who were ducking for cover or walking casually with their umbrellas. Jesse knew he forgot something. His hat could take some of the water, but not at the rate it was coming down. He tucked the bag of muffins gingerly into his jacket and held the coffee cup close as he jumped to the next available awning. There was a warm and inviting glow from the window, which had elegant letters etched across it. 

‘Paperback Dragon’? Cute name, Jesse thought to himself. Peering in, the room was lit with old Japanese lanterns and books delicately lined the walls. There were ornate rugs and delicate tapestries with dragons swirling in blue and green hues. It looked like he was gazing into another world, far from his own. Gazing down at his coffee cup and feeling the crinkled bag shoved under his coat, he knew he would definitely need to stop in another time when he was well fed and rested. Taking a deep breath, Jesse ran back to his building. 

The muffins weren’t anything to write home about, but the coffee was excellent. It almost had almost a hint of a smoky flavor that reminded Jesse of Santa Fe. It was a comforting then immediately discomforting taste as his memories rolled back to that city. “Come on now Jess...don’t think about that,” he muttered to himself. It was awful lonesome being there without any friends really to talk to. He knew he had a neighbor, but he had yet to meet them and he was eager to build some sort of bond with anyone. Jesse was a social person, and this felt like isolation punishment...self inflicted of course. 

Turning on the television, Jesse laid back on the couch, flipping through the local channels absent mindedly. His exhaustion had set in and it wasn’t long before he settled on a random cooking show and fell asleep. 

-

The sun shone through the windows, illuminating the room that was once drenched in the night’s dark embrace. Jesse’s eyes fluttered open when the light reached his bronzed face. Had he slept on the couch all night? His hazy vision began to focus as he took in his surroundings. A living room three quarters of the way unpacked and a corner of boxes either waiting to be put away or stored. No photos hung on the wall yet and his own personal touches yet to be made...still a blank enough canvas to instill a little bit of creative thought. The possibilities weren’t endless, but he had choices with what he could do to tailor this apartment to be his very own. That was his task that day, make this place feel like his home.

Noon time rolled around and Jesse had hung up some of his favorite cowboy paraphernalia and placed things just so. It wasn’t anything fancy, but everything had a purpose for him, whether it be useful or comforting. The whole morning, he had a nagging feeling to go outside. The sun was finally shining and he could really take in the community as it had been in the photos he had fallen in love with. Grabbing his phone and hat, he slipped into his boots and head out. 

The streets were much more lively as the remnants of yesterday’s rainfall evaporated from the cracked sidewalks. Shop owners and employees easily seen through each of their glistening windows either cleaning up their business or helping their regulars. It was like a scene out of a storybook to Jesse. Everyone just looked so at peace. A nagging feeling pulled at his stomach as he remembered the small bookstore he had seen last night. That's right, he wanted to investigate it when he didn't have his hands full of food and drink. 

Paperback Dragon looked even more warm and welcoming in the sunshine. The door was propped open with a little stone dragon statue, and there were tables and chairs set up just outside the door with book lovers sipping tea while reading. A wind chime hung in the doorframe that sang softly whenever the wind happened through it. Casually walking into the shop, he was met with the soft smell of Jasmine. The shop was softly lit, making use mostly of the sunlight coming through the window. The tapestries and rugs even more beautiful in person than just peering in through the front of the store. The walls and shelves were neatly organized for both new and used books of varying regions of the world. Jesse wandered through, hands in his pockets as he soaked in this tranquil environment. A smile came to his face when he saw an adorably labeled children's section with pillows and a small table for them to read at. There was even a section dedicated to dragons, of course that would be the feature. The display had images and books with dragons from around the world, old and new books alike. Whoever put this store together, poured their heart and soul into it. 

Jesse found a section of books based on southwestern American history and grabbed one up. Next time he'd venture out of his usual habits and grab something more outside the box. It was an old cloth hard cover book. The binding was rather worn and it had that old book smell. The pages felt textured and well loved on his fingertips. It made him smile. He knew he'd take it home, tucking it under his arm he made his way to the register. 

There was no one there when he arrived, he glanced around inquisitively, trying not to appear impatient. He just wanted to see what kind of person he’d encounter today. Glancing down at the counter, there was a small bell with a sign that read, ‘please ring for assistance’. Jesse didn’t like the idea of using the bell to summon assistance at all, but it was a clearly labeled instruction. Not to mention there was no one at the counter or the front of the store to help him. He cautiously rang the bell, he hated that he may come across impatient. Pulling the book to his chest, he waited. 

“One moment please, I will be right with you,” a voice dark in color called from the back of the store. 

Was that a Japanese accent he heard too? Jesse stood nervously hugging the book. This was out of character for him. It was easy to be confident when he walked up to people, but when people walked up to him...it was the exact opposite. Glancing to one of the aisles, Jesse was met with the most breathtaking sight he had ever seen in his life. 

Approaching the counter was a Japanese man, looked to be about his age. A bit on the shorter side, but even through his black v-neck t-shirt and slim fit black jeans, Jesse could tell this man was incredibly built. Those clothes hugged and contoured to every sculpted inch of him. A well manicured goatee on a chiseled and perfect face with sharp and intense brown eyes that made him weak in the knees. The man’s black hair pulled up into a topknot, sides cleanly shaven with loose hair hanging off to the one side of his face. Jesse took notice of the ornate spiraling dragon tattoo encompassing the man’s left arm as well, and the piercing across the bridge of his nose. He was a picturesque version of absolute beauty that made his heart swell and beat uncontrollably. Feeling his cheeks flush with color, he quickly turned and faced the counter, tightening his grip on the book.

Now behind the counter, the man smiled softly at Jesse, “How can I help you today?” 

Speechless that someone as beautiful as he would smile at him Jesse set the book down on the counter with his hands shaking nervously. He had never been silent before, even when he was being timid...at least say hi! His thoughts were rampant. 

“Just this then?” The man picked up the book delicately. His motions fluid, all muscle memory as he typed the price into the register and rang him up.

Jesse handed the money over, trying his best to seem confident in his motions. Say thank you you big goon! The man handed him the receipt and thanked him, next thing he knew, Jesse found himself dumbfounded holding the book standing outside. 

He gazed down at the book as he managed to pull himself out from in front of the store. That man touched this book so tenderly and gently...the thought made Jesse blush as he picked up his pace back to his apartment.

-

Days passed. Every chance he got to steal a glance into the bookstore he took. Jesse at the time was so wound up that he didn’t even catch the man’s name. Luckily through meeting the surrounding shop owners he had learned that the man’s name was Hanzo Shimada. Such a beautiful name he thought to himself upon learning. The girl working at the cafe, Chelsea had given him the information one morning when Jesse came in for his now routine cup of coffee and to read the book he had purchased. How he longed to read the book in front of the bookstore like he had seen the day he bought it, but the rain had returned and there was no chance of that happening at least for the next week or so. 

Jesse had already settled in and began reading when he felt a straw smack him on top of the head and land on the table. Looking up he saw Chelsea making frantic faces and pointing at the entrance of the cafe. His eyes glanced over and immediately he was frozen. It was Hanzo. Instantly his cheeks flushed and his chest tightened, his heart beating against his ribcage. The only thing he could think to do was to pull the book into his face and be as small as possible. It would have been a perfect plan if he weren't a tall, husky man in a plaid shirt and cowboy boots with a hat on the table in front of him. He stuck out like a sore thumb. 

“What can I get for you today Mr. Shimada?” Jesse heard Chelsea ask in a cool and confident voice. Oh how he longed to be that calm right now.

“I’ll just have my usual, thank you.” The voice was as he remembered it, a symphony to his ears.

Jesse didn’t dare look up from the book, instead he waited for the all clear sign from Chelsea, who was sure to give one. He felt so mortified. Jesse McCree of Santa Fe was known to be a confident and social butterfly, coming to Seattle seemed to rob him of that. He needed to get his confidence back, perhaps he’d get some info out of his new cafe pal as to where to go to get acquainted properly to the city. Right now that was the last thing on his mind, presently there was a very interesting man ordering his usual right behind him. 

“Oh Mr. Shimada, you’re coming to open mic night later right?” Chelsea asked as she handed Hanzo his coffee.

A soft chuckle, “I wouldn’t miss it.” With that, he left the cafe, leaving Jesse to stew.

Jesse turned slowly pulling the book down from in front of his flushed face, “Open mic night?”

She nodded vigorously as she pointed to the flyer taped to the back of one of the glass screens, “Yup! We do it once a week and about every other week or so, Mr. Shimada shows up.” She grinned, “Of course, I’ll keep what he does a secret.”

Jumping up, Jesse sprung up to the counter desperate for information. “Come on now, ya can’t just dangle it in front of me like that and not tell me!”

“That just means Mr. McCree, that you’ll just have to come out tonight and show your support. I’ll even make the improved recipe on those muffins you’ve been bugging me about.” She replied.

That was it then, Jesse was going to come back to the cafe later that night and witness just what this Hanzo Shimada had to offer. He was both excited and sickeningly nervous about it, this man who seems so untouchable and perfect in his eyes, what else could this bookstore owner have up his sleeve to drive him wild?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2! Unbeta'd and riddled with mistakes. Buuuuut it's full of other stuff that I hope you'll like. Thank you everyone!

Jesse had dug through his closet to find his nicest button up that he assumed wouldn’t be too nice for just a cafe open mic night. But he also wanted it to be nice enough to if he did have the courage, it wouldn’t disappoint on looks. Much to his dismay, it was clear that he really needed to at least update his wardrobe. Most of his nicer shirts were a bit on the rough side and weren’t exactly easy to clean press either. He shrugged as he opted instead for a t-shirt that fit him rather snuggly and throwing on his rarely worn black leather jacket. A little bit out of his norm, but it should be alright for the event. Looking in the mirror, he stared at himself. The clear signs of his life being less than easy the last few years showed as a few stray greys peppered through his hair. His face looked a little more tired than he thought it ought to, the worry lines more prominent. This was his face. Jesse sighed softly to himself as he washed his face and carefully trimmed his wild beard. He even took some water to soften some of the fly away hairs he had, although he knew they'd be out of control again within a few minutes. He was more into that natural look anyway, besides he thought he cleaned up rather nice considering. 

The walk to the cafe felt eternal. He had taken Chelsea’s advice to leave early so as to get a decent seat. He had no idea that this was a big event for this neighborhood, well now he knew and he was so giddy and nervous he could feel his stomach turn. When he arrived, his friend had just finished setting up the stage and there was only one other patron there. Good, lots of selections for seating. As much as he wanted to be front and center for whatever Hanzo was going to do, he was equally terrified and wanted to pick the farthest seat from the stage. 

“You made it Mr. McCree! Please pick your seat.” Chelsea exclaimed happily as she stepped down from her ladder. “People usually start funneling in soon, so you'll want to stake your claim on a spot.”

Jesse nodded as he did just as he thought he would. A nice stool at the back of the cafe. Thankfully the place was small enough that no matter where he sat would grant him a good view. Carefully taking his jacket off, he set it on the table as he sat down. When he sat his pudge rolls spilled over the top of his faded blue jeans. His stomach still hadn't settled, he could scarcely speak when Chelsea was zipping through the cafe getting all of her last minute preparations done for the show. And she wasn't kidding either, the place was packed wall to wall with either performers or viewers. Good thing he got there when he did. 

Chelsea had brought him her improved muffins and a cup of decaf coffee to settle his nerves. The muffins were a lot more moist and pleasant, she definitely made sure to cook them at just the right temperature to preserve that. It helped soothe him a little, but he was still wound up way too tight for what was supposed to be a fun evening. Jesse kept a sharp eye out for the reason he was here in the first place, but he didn't seem to show. Chelsea did say that he tended to arrive slightly later due to closing up the store however. Nervously Jesse sipped his coffee, this was a lot more anxiety than he was expecting. His nerves shot with anticipation as each new person took the stage and recited poems, played their instruments or sang their songs. 

The performances were rather well done. Each person poured their heart and soul into everything they did on stage and it was met with loving support from the audience. There was a break in the show, so Jesse excused himself outside to smoke. His nerves were shot. Although he was enjoying himself, the anticipation was what was killing him. Popping the cigarillo into his mouth, he struck a match and ignited the tip. The heat of the tobacco warming in his mouth as he puffed on it get the burn going. The taste soothed his twitchy nerves while he leaned against the side of the cafe, head leaning back. Jesse closed his eyes and took in the sounds around him. The murmuring of the crowd inside the cafe, the rumbling of cars as they drove down the street and the sound of shoes treading across the sidewalk. Taking another long drag, he felt his insecurities melt away. This is why he found it so hard to stop smoking, every time he needed to unwind, he found solace in the tranquil smoke that enveloped him. He had almost quit a few years back, but certain events pulled him right back into the fray. 

Just as he snuffed out his cigarillo, the sound of boots on pavement rang in his ears. Jesse turned only for his eyes to be met with the man he had been waiting for all evening, Hanzo. He felt the color fade from his face as he ran back into the cafe and to his seat. His heart bubbled up into his throat, as he ran his thick fingers through his hair and then cup his face. He just had to take a smoke break then didn’t he? The sight of Hanzo walking toward him adorning all black with a guitar slung over his shoulder was enough to reduce him to a puddle. Guitar?! This man was literally trying to kill him. One of his fantasies involved being serenaded to, in any way shape or form. A simple fantasy, but it was one that made his toes curl in his cowboy boots. Jesse finally managed to pull his hands away from his face to see Hanzo on stage, sitting on the stool and tuning his acoustic guitar. He looked like an angel, haloed by the spot light that graced him. This was a sight that he would never forget, and he waited for the real show to start with baited breath.

The lights on the stage dimmed as Hanzo took his position, His fingers gracefully placed on the neck of the guitar with their first position at the ready.He leaned forward into the microphone, a soft breath before he began to sing. Within a few moments he his fingers began to dance on the guitar. His song was sweet and delicate. Singing of a long lost love that he had never met and how their strings of fate would soon intertwine again. It was a bittersweet melody that had the entire cafe in a trance. 

Jesse couldn’t breathe. The tears scarcely pooled in his eyes before they ran free down his cheeks before getting tangled in his beard. There was so much emotion he felt in the words that Hanzo sang, and some truths for even himself. In the years he was with his ex he always felt like there was a greater and better love out there for him. Although most of the time he didn’t think that he deserved it, usually when he was left alone in his tears after a fight or ignored for the millionth time. Jesse longed for a love that wouldn’t ignore him and let him love them. He grabbed a napkin and gently wiped the newly formed tears before they had the chance to fall. This man, Hanzo Shimada had his heart and he had no clue that he did. 

The last chord was struck and Hanzo’s fingers lay flat against the instrument. He didn’t smile, he just bowed as the cafe erupted in a thunderous applause. Standing back up, the bookstore owner’s cheeks were flushed with color as he descended the stage to his guitar case. 

Everyone started swarming Hanzo, but Jesse remained sitting. From the look on the man’s face, it was clear that he wanted to swiftly exit, but the masses of people were impeding his escape. Jesse didn’t know what to do at this point, he wanted to help and not join into the issue. He stood up pushing his hair back, mustering up all of his confidence and choking back the shyness he began grabbing onto people's shoulders in a playful manner, asking them all manner of questions to learn more about the neighborhood. Not a single question was the same and he kept it short and sweet enough to dive through the crowd and cause a commotion to get everyone’s attention. 

Hanzo watched the stranger inquisitively before he smirked in understanding. Slinging his guitar over his shoulder, he slipped out of the cafe. 

After about a 20 minute torrent of talking and laughing with everyone in the cafe, Jesse was finally able to breathe. The people had dispersed rather quickly and the disaster zone of post show litter was flung about the room. However that didn't seem to bother Chelsea who was already picking it up, a cheesy smile on her face. 

“And what're you all smiles about?” Jesse asked. He walked up the the counter and leaned against it casually. 

Her smile didn't fade, “I saw what you did there,” she dropped some paper cups into the recycling bin. “That was really sweet!” 

Jesse looked away from her as even his ears turned red, “I don't know what yer talkin’ about. I saw lotsa folks that could answer my silly lil’ questions is all.” His broad hand stroked the back of his neck in a nervous manner. 

She slid another cup over to him, “Uh huh. I'm sure that's all that was…” she continued to pick up the cafe as she spoke, the two of them the only ones left. “Ya know Mr. Shimada will sing every other week, he comes in at the end, leaves as soon as he's done. He doesn't talk or mingle. And something else curious…”

“What's that?” Jesse peaked over his shoulder at her, still trying to mask his embarrassment. 

“Usually he just sings in Japanese. Never heard him sing in English. Must be why everyone is in an uproar,” Chelsea giggled to herself while wiping up a small spill on one of the tables. “I wonder why, after all this time he'd decide that?”

Scratching his beard, Jesse seemed lost at the reasoning for it or the possibilities. He was so happy he got to hear him sing. In those 4 minutes, it was like he and Hanzo were one...like the song was for no one else. Sighing to himself he managed to face the counter again and sip the last cup of decaf Chelsea passed to him. 

“Alright Chel, I'll see ya later. Have a good night!” Jesse’s spirits seemed to be lifted. He'd been so up and down that it was hard to see where he was going. He laid money on the counter before nodding his head to her as he always did before leaving.

As he walked down the quieted street to his building, he mused at the possibilities he had laid out for himself. There was this gorgeous and talented man he was dying to formally meet, he was in a nice and happy new home, and he felt comfortable in his own skin for the first time in a long time. Nothing was going to rain on him. He entered the foyer of the building and unlocked the main door, his spurs jingling on each step as he made his way up to the apartment floor. 

He was welcomed by a silent and dark apartment, just how he had left it hours before. The pile of clothes on the couch from his lack of decisiveness, the boots strewn about and the many shades of denim hung over the back of his chair. It was definitely home, but the only thing missing was a companion. Jesse needed to fix himself first though, as much as he’d like to just dive into a whirlwind romance, it just wasn’t in the cards. Sighing to himself, Jesse kicked off his boots and shrugged off his coat. He was drained from the day, it was a lot of ups and downs and he just needed a long soak in the tub with some soft music and candles to soothe his aching body. 

The bathroom was filled with the scent of soft lavender as Jesse slid into the hot tub and he surrounded himself with the fragrant and frothy bubbles. He was slightly too big for the tub, so it was a bit of a snug fit, but it was soothing all the same. He had the main light off and placed candles all over to grant a faint glow. The only thing left was to hit play on his small stereo, but another sound caught his attention. He was aware that the apartment walls weren’t exactly the thickest, but this was the first he had heard anything from any of his neighbors. The soft and melodic song of an acoustic guitar reverberated through the walls and rang into his ears. A chill shot down Jesse’s spine. Hadn’t he just heard that song before? A moment later, the voice that had stolen his heart earlier gently caressed his conscious mind. 

He closed his eyes, his heart overflowing with raw emotion as the song continued. This man, this beautiful, talented man was near enough to him right now to ensnare him with his song. Jesse had only just surmised that he needed to work on himself and not get tangled up with trying to be romantic, and then this happens. Fate sure loved to play jokes on him. Jesse leaned his head back against the edge of the tub, he let himself be completely immersed in the feeling of the bath and the sound of the song. He could've spent his entire life in that tub listening to the sound of Hanzo sing, but he came back to reality the moment the last chord was struck. Jesse’s ears strained to hear more, anything from the man he was so desperately smitten with, although all he could hear was the soft sloshing of the water in the tub as he shifted. The walls were thin, but not that thin, he should’ve known that the bookstore owner wouldn’t carry out an elaborate conversation with himself. 

Jesse rinsed himself off and stepped out of the tub, he didn’t know if that helped or made him feel worse. He thought he had come to a resolution as to how he felt and what he should do. Which he knew he needed to focus on himself, and that was his plan. However, it wasn’t until Jesse tied his robe around his thick waist that he realized, Hanzo was living next door to him!? Clumsily he stumbled out of the bathroom, the cold air rushing to meet his reddened face.

“Keep it together Jess…” the reminder did little to calm him down. He ambled over to the clothing covered couch and collapsed on it all. He was so close, and yet he was completely out of reach. Although this did explain why every time he had tried to meet that neighbor in particular, they were never available. Jesse covered his eyes with his forearm, the silky material of his robe cool against his forehead. “...just breathe.”

He tried to calm his heart, it was beating so hard that the pounding was deafening in his ears. If he just paced his breathing and relaxed, he’d calm down in no time. His attempt to relax was interrupted by a gently knocking on the door. He felt his heart jump up into his throat. Who would be visiting at this time of night? It wasn’t particularly late, but it was late enough to warrant questioning. Jesse jumped up off the couch, nervousness prickling on the back of his neck. Looking down at himself, he made sure his robe was securely fastened and that his pudge or anything else wasn’t sticking out for whoever came calling. The walk to the door felt like an eternity. He grasped the handle and carefully pulled the door open a sliver so as not to put himself on display. 

What he saw took his breath away. Before him was Hanzo. He stood with his guitar slung over his back, a black tank top that fit every curve and muscle and loose fitting black sweatpants that hung off his hips. His hair was no longer in the top knot, instead it was hanging down to one side and half in his face. Jesse couldn’t imagine a more picturesque and beautiful sight, and it took every fiber of his being to not stand slack jawed and drooling. 

“So sorry, I hope I am not intruding. I just wanted to apologize if my guitar playing was bothering you at all.” Hanzo’s voice was soft and sincere.

Jesse had no clue how to respond. His face was fuschia at this point, bordering on purple from his nerves. All he could muster was a small and mousy response as he hid behind his door, “T’wern’t no bother.” He cast his gaze to the floor. 

Hanzo smiled. “I’m so glad. I also wanted to formally introduce myself. I am Hanzo Shimada of the Paperback Dragon bookstore.” He extended his hand. “I believe I partially met you when you came in before.”

Sheepishly Jesse reached out and shook the other man’s hand. He himself was known for a good, firm handshake. Although this would have to go on record as one of the weakest he had ever given, as his hand could barely close around Hanzo’s. He nodded in response, his voice still small, “McCree...J-j-jesse McCree.” The heat was so overwhelming that his ears felt like they were on fire. 

Letting go of Jesse’s hand, Hanzo bowed to him, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Jesse. I also wanted to thank you for what you did at the cafe earlier. I’m not very social, so that meant a lot. Thank you.” He bowed deeper with his thanks.

Jesse’s hand clapped back to cover his mouth. He was speechless, he had just done what anyone who noticed would have done. The look on Hanzo’s face at the time screamed, ‘get me out of here’, so that’s what he did. All Jesse could do was nod back to Hanzo when he stood back up to face him. There was no way he could produce words. His heart was on overtime and it was almost too much to bear.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to relaxing Jesse. Thank you again, and I hope to see you again sometime. You’re always welcome at my store.” A smile that could light the darkest nights spread across Hanzo’s face. “Oyasumi.” With that he turned and walked to his apartment.

As soon as Jesse closed the door and locked it, he fell trembling to his knees. He didn’t expect to talk to him tonight, or anytime soon for that matter. He was so cool and collected. Meanwhile, Jesse was a stuttering and flustered mess. He did have a tendency to fall hard and fast, but he really needed to slow his heart down. It was too soon for that. He had to keep reminding himself that it was less than a month ago he thought he was going to be with his ex forever. Then….Jesse stopped himself from thinking any further than that, no he needed to work and fix the broken pieces. That way when the time was right, he could show Hanzo who he really is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot I wanted to dive into and I modified the tags. Don't worry though, it's all the soft and love still. Unbeta'd as per usual so mistakes/redundancy are present. Thank you all for your support! Join me on Tumblr for updates for chapter postings @mchanzo-plz
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support <3

For the next several weeks, Jesse kept to himself mostly. He needed to nurse his wounds and make himself emotionally sound again. However the dreaded ex he had expunged from his life had gotten ahold of Jesse’s new phone number and text him continually. As much as he wanted to turn his phone off and ignore it, he needed the line available for potential job offers. He was starting to run low on savings, so he really had to jump out of his funk and put himself out there. Although the atmosphere around him was constantly heavy since his phone never shut up. 

Jesse stood staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He felt like he had aged 10 years in 2 weeks. His normally vibrant eyes looked sullen and lifeless as dark circles hung beneath them. His hair askew and his weight, well...he never really worried about it much. However it was to the point now where his clothes were bordering on not fitting. That's how he solved his emotional trauma, eating what he felt, trying to soothe the pain from the psychopath of his past. But no matter how many delectable baked goods he ate, the pain continued. Chelsea had tried to call on several occasions, but Jesse was so afraid of his phone that he couldn't bring himself to pick it up. 

As much as he didn't want to think about what happened, he had to to try and push himself over it. He had been with his ex for 4years or so, and the first 2 were wonderful. Jesse felt loved and like he could give love, no questions asked. A little after their 2 year anniversary, his ex struck him when they disagreed on something. Jesse dismissed it as they had both been drunk at the time and tended to get a little more rowdy than most. After that, he was never struck again, but the barrage of suspicious accusations and degrading emotional abuse flooded him more than he could fathom. It was to the point that Jesse didn't even recognize him or himself anymore. At that point is when he packed up everything and wrote a hasty, ‘goodbye’ letter, and disappeared. Jesse destroyed every bridge he could think of that would lead to him, apparently his grandmother was hounded for information which is how he had gotten his number in the end. Well all of that is the reason he left, and his heart broke thinking of how he must of been to his Meemaw. 

Jesse splashed water on his face to wake him up more as the sound of his phone vibrating on the counter echoed in his psyche. He was on his last nerve, he was on his last nerve a week ago when this all started to spiral out of control. Never once did he open any of the texts, acknowledge any of the calls or voicemails, but a lot of the previews he could see pop up on his screen grew more aggressive. It was concerning, but as far as he knew there was no way for him to be found. Jesse dried his face, his chest aching from the stress as he glanced down at the newest installment, ‘I WILL FIND YOU JESSE MCCREE’. That was it, he couldn’t take it anymore. Grabbing his phone he threw it into the tile wall of his shower. The sound of the tile shattering on impact reverberated throughout the small apartment and Jesse was fairly certain he just decimated his phone. Tears pooled in his eyes as he sat on the cold bathroom floor, pulling his knees as close to his chest as possible. He sat there praying to all matters of higher powers that no one actually heard the impact of the phone to the wall and it wouldn’t raise any concerns. Lucky for Jesse, Hanzo should be attending the bookstore now, so there was no danger of that being an issue.

“You need to stop this shit McCree, you’re tougher than this. Meemaw didn’t raise no cry baby…” his pep talk was less than convincing as he wiped his face with his broad forearm. “I’d like to see that fucker come find me…” his voice almost completely lost on the second part of the thought. 

After calming himself down, Jesse managed to get dressed and head down to the bakery. The family there was more than welcoming and they tended to treat him as one of their own. As he opened the door, he was met with the aroma of freshly baked bread hot out of the oven. One of his favorite smells. 

“Ah Jesse dear, welcome!” The older woman said as she looked up from her work. She was a small woman, her hair silver and neatly tied up in a bun on top of her head. She took pride as her attire was nicely pressed and not a single wrinkle or stain dared to show on it. Her wrinkled face glowing happily at the sight of him, although within moments her expression melted to concern. Rushing out from behind the counter she grabbed Jesse’s arm, “What happened my dear?”

She’s quick as ever, Jesse mused to himself as he gave her a reassuring smile. “Ms. Kyle, y’all needn’t worry. Just worryin’ about things as I’ve been.” He placed his hand gently on hers, “Just tryin’ to make my way n’ all.” 

Just as he spoke, her son came out from the back a welcoming smile on his face. He always went by Ty or something like that. His name wasn’t long or anything, just a preference or something like that. 

“Hey Jess!” Ty’s voice was light and cheerful as waved. Especially recently as he and his partner just got engaged. He has been on cloud nine ever since. 

Jesse smiled and nodded at him. He was so happy when he got the news of their engagement. From what he understood is that the two met in culinary school and had essentially been inseparable ever since. “Howdy Ty, good to see ya.”

“Now Jesse, I know you don’t want to take any hand outs or anything, but Michael and I have been talking and we would love to have you work here in the bakery with us.” She paused and delivered a smile to her husband who followed Ty into the front of the store. “You’ve brought us your treats and you’re more than welcome to work here with us.” Her voice was gentle and sincere. Ms. Kyle would never offer if it wasn’t genuine. 

He couldn’t contain himself, he scooped her up and hugged her. Jesse’s jubilation was plain as day as he waved for Ty and Mr. Kyle to come join in the group hug he was now creating in the center of the bakery. “Y’all didn’t have to go an’ do that.” His words caught in his throat. “I mean, y’all are the greatest.” 

The rest of the day Jesse spent at the bakery with the Kyles, learning and getting the hang of things. He wasn’t expecting to get a job, but it was just the boost he needed after the emotionally trying day he had had. He really needed to go and replace his phone again since his was ruined, not to mention change his phone number. That was something he could handle later, all he wanted was to absorb the glorious feeling of having a purpose and being useful again. 

-

By the end of the week Jesse was already acclimated to working with the Kyles. It was a nice and refreshing atmosphere for him and all of the busy work and learning kept his mind busy too. He even managed to replace his phone and change his number. Things were looking up, but the thing that was missing from all of this is that he scarce had any time to meander over to the bookstore and enjoy a cup of that sweet jasmine tea while soaking in the view of Hanzo. Although he had tried to push the thought out of his head to keep him from falling further, it was one of the few thoughts that was saving him. 

At the end of Saturday closing, Jesse was ready to pass out. His body ached and his mind complete mush. He had been coming in for opening and working all the way through without giving himself breaks (even though he was heavily advised into taking them). Locking up the store, Jesse turned to face the twilight sky as the sun sunk behind the buildings. The clouds sparse as they slowly drifted. He leaned against the side of the building, letting the cool brick seep through his shirt to soothe his muscles. He had been hunched over kneading dough all day, so this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Running his tired calloused fingers through his sweat dampened hair, Jesse sighed; closing his eyes. 

“Konbanwa Jesse.”

Jesse’s eyes shot open as his heart immediately scrambled up into his throat. Instantly he locked eyes with Hanzo, who looked as breathtaking as ever. An effortless beauty, Jesse surmised as he bit his lower lip nervously. “H-hey there Hanzo.” 

Hanzo smiled softly to the tuckered out baker, “You look like you could use a relaxing book and some tea.” His voice like a consoling angel song to a worn Jesse. The bookstore owner’s cheeks flushed a mild pink as he continued, “Would you like to join me for a cup?”

He couldn’t believe his ears, Jesse felt completely frozen in time. Did the most gorgeous angel in all of heaven and earth just ask him for tea? It was next to impossible for him not to stand slack jawed, but he took a deep breath to calm his fluttering heart. One cup of tea and good company couldn’t hurt. “Th-that s-sounds m-m-mighty fine…” He looked down, his face deep red. His eyes met with his filthy smock, he should definitely change first. “Umm, iffin’ i-it wouldn’t be too much trouble, p-perhaps I should change.” His eyes locked onto Hanzo’s boots.

“Of course. Whatever would make you most comfortable.” Hanzo paused and smiled more broadly. “While you’re changing, I can prepare the tea. Good thing we’re neighbors.” He folded his arms casually, “I’ve also been meaning to properly welcome you to the neighborhood anyway.”

So this meant that Jesse would not only be having tea with Hanzo, it meant that he was having tea with Hanzo in Hanzo’s apartment. Jesse’s knees began to shake nervously at the thought of it, but it was a polite and inviting invitation and he was going to do everything in his power to bite back this godforsaken shyness that had consumed him. “S-s-sounds good. I’ll just head on up and get c-cleaned up.” 

Hanzo’s smile warmed. “I look forward to it.” He looked down the street and back at Jesse, “Ja mata.” He bowed before heading off down the street towards the local market. 

Jesse stood frozen, his eyes enjoying the view of Hanzo’s well sculpted ass as he walked away. That was a sight he had yet to appreciate, it made his mouth water slightly. The only thing that brought him out of his stupor was the sound of a distant car horn that made him aware that he was damn near drooling. His face flushed more as he straightened his stained smock, his nervous knees buckling as he made his way into the building and up the stairs to his apartment. 

A quick shower was definitely in order. He had worked a 13 hour shift, so he imagined he was rather ripe. Jesse immediately started peeling off the layers of clothes on his trek to the bathroom. He’d worry about the mess later, right now he needed to focus on getting this sweat off of him. 

The shower was soothing, although the broken tiles were a bitter reminder of what happened last week. He turned away from it, determined to not let that invade his thoughts. No. Tonight he was going to casually get to know his new neighbor. His new neighbor who just so happened to be a complete package based on Jesse’s very specific checklist. Although there were things he didn’t know about Hanzo, tonight would be a great time to get to know him. The beads of water melted away the stress of the day as he lathered up, letting the suds drip down his curvy body. Slathering his muscular arms, Jesse felt a little more confident.

As Jesse was drying himself off, he began to wonder what on earth he should wear to tea. What do you wear to an evening drink of tea at your hot neighbor’s apartment? Tying his towel around his waist, Jesse picked up his dirty clothes that he had discarded and threw them in his hamper and turned his attention to his mess of a closet. There were piles upon piles of clothes that were loosely folded and stacked instead of hung. It had been such a whirlwind week that Jesse didn’t even have time to properly put his clothes away. Something casual, but nice...what was casual but nice? He grabbed one of his signature flannels and his favorite pair of jeans. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it his way. This was who he was and this was how he was going to present himself. 

He had his hair brushed it’s usual way, tidied up his beard and slipped on his favorite boots and grabbed his favorite hat. Looking himself in the mirror, yup, that’s Jesse McCree alright. Smiling to himself, the butterflies returned tenfold. His knees were back to clacking together as he looked toward the door. “Alrigh’ Jess...you can do this. One boot in front of the other.” He stood there unmoving.

Sighing, Jesse took a hesitant step forward, and then another, and another. Made it to the door. Good job Jess. Remember, you’re just going for tea. He tipped his hat forward to shield his eyes more in an attempt to mask his more than obvious nerves. After locking up he turned to Hanzo’s door, his stomach in knots. Ok, you’re almost there McCree. You can do it. His hand reached up and hovered over the door, Jesse’s hand shaking as it carefully knocked on the door. See the door ain’t gonna bite. 

“I’ll be right there!” Jesse heard Hanzo call out from inside the apartment.

Jesse’s face was so hot from his nerves, he swore he’d faint if he had to stand out there any longer. But just as he started to stagger, the door slowly swung open to reveal a smiling Hanzo.

“Yōkoso Jesse. Please come in.” He pulled the door all the way open and extending his hand to gesture entry. 

Completely dumbfounded, Jesse bowed his head to hide his face even more. Was there ever going to be a time where Jesse would be able to look at Hanzo without overwhelming panic and happiness. So many swirling emotions as he stepped over the threshold and entered the apartment. He stood stiff like a statue as Hanzo shut the door behind him. Jesse just wanted to hide. He didn’t say a word to him, just body language and from his own judgement of the situation, it was like he didn’t want to be there. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Jesse wanted to unwind and get to know Hanzo with laughter and casual story exchanges and he was going to do his best to make that a reality. Biting his lip, he removed his boots.

“Here you are Jesse, I have some slippers here for you to use.” Hanzo’s voice was soft as he spoke. It was like he was picking up on his anxiety and trying to soothe him. 

Jesse slid them on, the soft cushions of the slippers like clouds on his feet. It made him smile. “Th-thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Please come with me to the living room,” Hanzo motioned for him to follow. “Unless you want to have your tea in the hallway, if that’s the case...no judgement here.” His tone gently teasing Jesse.

Nodding sheepishly, Jesse followed Hanzo into the livingroom. Just like the Paper Dragon, Hanzo’s apartment was beautifully decorated with silks and satins with elegant embroidery of dragons and of days past in Japan. It was almost as jaw dropping as the man showing him in. Taking a small peak at him from underneath his hat, Jesse got to drink Hanzo in again. He’d never tire of it. His skin looked so touchably soft, he just wanted to explore every inch of him. That thought caused him to hide underneath his hat again. Sitting down on the couch, he watched as Hanzo excused himself into the kitchen to get the tea. Jesse took the moment to mind his manners and remove his hat, setting it gently on his lap. Running his fingers through his hair, he could already feel his locks running rampant. Oh well, his hair never listened to what he wanted anyway. The heat in his face was something he knew he was going to have to learn to control, that was no easy feet...he knew it wouldn’t be anyway.

Jesse could hear the sounds of Hanzo preparing the tea in the kitchen. The soft chiming of the cups and silverware as he made it ready for entertaining. It was consoling. There was also a faint sound of water and chimes ringing throughout the apartment that helped him feel less tense. 

Hanzo emerged from the kitchen with a tray carrying the tea and cups, as well as some rice balls and other small snacks. He thoughtfully put the tray down on the ornate table in front of his nervous guest. “Are you alright Jesse? I hope I didn’t impose on you.” A soft air of concern in his voice as he began to serve the tea.

“N-no imposin’ at all…” Jesse stared at his hat anxiously, he was certain he was going to burst into flames from the embarrassment. “I’m j-just a lil’ shy is all.” Biting his lower lip, he glanced up at Hanzo with a small smile.

Hanzo melted, “I’m so sorry, I should have been more cautious approaching you for tea. That was rather callous of me…” he poured the tea into each of their cups. 

“Shucks darlin’, it’s alright.” Jesse replied rubbing the back of his head. He didn’t want to make Hanzo feel bad at all, it’s just how do you tell a man that he makes you so weak in the knees?

“Do you take milk or sugar with your tea?” Hanzo’s face slightly pink from the adorable name.

“N-naw, I like to enjoy the taste of the tea m’self.” 

A warm smile spread across Hanzo’s face as he handed Jesse the cup. “There you are.”

Their hands brushed as Jesse took the cup, he felt weightless in that moment and his world felt hazy. His hand shook as he pulled that cup closer to him to keep from spilling or make his shaking anymore obvious than it already was. Taking a small sip, the hot tea flooded into his mouth, soothing him instantly. 

Hanzo sat down on the couch next to him, leaning against the arm and facing Jesse. Crossing his legs he took a small sip, “So, why Seattle?” 

“Welp, bein’ from Santa Fe I was lookin’ fer a big change ya know...I saw an ad for this buildin’ and it looked mighty charmin’ n’ all.” Jesse paused to take another sip of tea, his confidence slowly surfacing. “Somethin’ just pulled me here, ya know?”

“I know what you mean,” Hanzo replied chuckling, his eyes shimmering.

Jesse’s chest hurt again. The thought of Santa Fe and what lies there...he gently shook his head to pull his mind from that thought again. Another flaw Jesse had, he was easy to read and he didn’t want to make anything more uncomfortable. He bit his lip again as he washed it back, locking eyes with Hanzo for the first time under the guise of a sweet smile. “More n’ anything though...I’m just lookin’ to start over.”

Hanzo nodded, “You came to the right place cowboy, welcome.” 

“Thank ya kindly darlin’, ‘preciate it.” Just as the two clanked their tea cups together, Jesse felt his phone go off in his pocket. Which was odd because only the Kyle’s and Meemaw had his number, his brow furrowed in worry as he set his teacup down and pulled his phone out of his pocket, “‘Scuse me a second would ya Han?”

“Of course.” 

Jesse stood up and walked back over the entryway as he looked at the caller ID, Meemaw. It was a little late for her to be calling, but he picked up all the same, “Meemaw?”

“Hey Jesse.”

His face went white. That dark voice with a soft drawl and an intent to ruin his life, the reason he was in Seattle in the first place. “What do ya want Miquel and where’s Meemaw?”

A soft laugh came through the other end of the phone, “Don’t you worry sweetie, she’s fine. You know I’d never do anything to her. And as far as what I want, well...I think you know what I want Jess.”

Jesse leaned against the door, his stomach in knots. He shouldn’t have answered and this voice was the last thing he wanted to hear. “I am not havin’ this discussion with ya Miquel, and ya know damn well I ain’t in the market of takin’ yer sorry behind back. Leave Meemaw alone, stop callin’ me, and get over it.” This was the most amount of confidence he had in a month, the confidence to tell this monster to get a life and leave him and his family alone. 

“Now now, no need to be so sassy with me. You always let your feelings run wild when there’s no need.” Miquel’s voice grew more irritated. “You listen to me good now you handsome piece of shit, either you tell me where you’re at or you come back home. If not, I’ll hunt you down.”

His voice was caught in his throat. He didn’t have any strength left anymore to deal with this emotionally abusive monster, “Goodbye Miquel, please leave Meemaw alone.” Jesse hung up as he slid down the door and hit the floor, tears flowing. 

Hanzo rushed to the door to a collapsed Jesse. His face concerned as he kneeled beside him, gently putting his hand on Jesse’s quivering shoulder. “Are you alright?” 

Jesse couldn’t speak all he could do was let his pain and tears free fall from a forlorn face that begged for salvation. He couldn’t believe this was happening here and now of all places. There was no way for him to answer, he covered his face to hide the twisted sadness that had dug its claws into every fiber of him. Within moments, he felt warm and strong arms wrap around him and pull him close. The scent of Hanzo filled his mind as he was able to calm down enough to be less hysterical. He buried his face into the other man’s chest as he continued to cry, hugging him back. 

“Whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to fight it alone.” Hanzo whispered as he ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair to soothe him. “You can lean on me.”

“I’m s-so scared Han,” Jess’s voice cracked and sputtered, “an’ I’m sorry I’m doin’ this here.” He felt the grip around him get tighter.

Hanzo laid his head on top of Jesse’s, still stroking his hair softly, “I know you’re scared and you have nothing to apologize for.” 

This was the safest and most secure Jesse had ever felt. In the arms of this wonderful and angelic man who selflessly wrapped him up in a secure embrace and consoled him; telling him everything would be alright. Jesse believed him and he wanted to stay in his arms forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 4 of The Ink Bleeds! I am so happy everyone has been enjoying it this far and I'm so excited to be working on it. As always there's typos and grammar mistakes as this isn't beta'd. 
> 
> Now please, enjoy the soft boys!

The next morning, Jesse awoke to the smell of lavender enveloping him. That’s right, he had stayed that night at Hanzo’s apartment after the awful phone call. Thankfully Meemaw had called back and told Jesse that she wouldn’t let Miquel into the house anymore and definitely wouldn’t let him use her phone. That was a relief. Miquel was a terrible boyfriend and an awful friend, but he had nothing but respect for Meemaw, which was one of his only redeeming qualities. The soft scent helped to ease the tightness in his chest as he sat up in Hanzo’s bed. He didn’t really remember falling asleep or how he got into the room at all, but Hanzo must have brought him to bed. The blankets were a soft and supple silk with beautiful flowers and landscapes embroidered into it, the room itself was rather spacious feeling despite the coziness of the size. He knew just how to dress a place up to maximize living space. Jesse could take a lesson from him in that, his apartment was snug, but it aired on the side of cluttery, even for him. 

Hanzo entered the room wearing a tank top and shorts, his bare feet adorned with a pair of slippers that Jesse had seen the night before, with a large silver tray in hand. A smile graced the man’s face, “Good morning Jesse. I hope you slept alright.”

The awkward feeling of being so close to Hanzo again set in. His cheeks a hot pink and his eyes cast downward to the blanket he had across his lap, peaking up at Hanzo through his eyelashes. “Mornin’ Han….I uhhh slept alrigh’ thank ya.” He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he continued, “I hope you slept good n’ all too.” The sentiment was enough to make him perish. 

Setting the tray down on the bedside table, Hanzo sat down on the edge of the bed. “I did, thank you.” He replied to Jesse smiling as he began to put each of their breakfast plates together. “I know I am not grand cook or anything, but I do hope that you’ll have some breakfast.” 

Jesse looked up, a smile broad across his face, “I’d love some!” Thanking Hanzo, he took the plate he was given and began eating. The eggs were poached and the yolks were perfect as they spilled out over the toast they were placed upon. There was a perfectly stir-fried potato and pepper mix that tasted heavenly. The potatoes were crunchy on the outside, and yet soft on the inside and the peppers complimented them wonderfully. After a few moments of savoring the food, Jesse looked up to Hanzo who was taking his first bite of his own, “Han, this is the best breakfast I ever had!” He beamed in delight as he went back to enjoying his food. 

Hanzo’s face went mildly pink as he smiled and quietly cleared his throat, “I’m so glad you like it Jesse, if you want more, I have extra in the kitchen that you’re more than welcome to.” 

Breakfast was more than Jesse could have ever asked for. Hanzo was so welcoming of him. Not only did he spend the night consoling him in his time of need, but he let him sleep in his bed and made him breakfast the next day. It was so much kindness that Jesse wasn’t entirely too familiar with when it came to being around someone else. The only other people he was genuinely close to was Meemaw and she of course took care of him and then Miquel who treated him horribly. So this entire situation was a foreign concept to him. He hoped he didn’t make Hanzo feel awkward. Every other minute he gushed about how delicious the food was and how much he was enjoying it, shoot, he even got up to get seconds. 

Jesse looked at the clock, good thing he had the day off from the bakery today. There's no way he could explain being late to the Kyle’s. In future he'd need to be more conscious of setting an alarm and preparing for work. After the two finished breakfast, Jesse assisted Hanzo in cleaning up the kitchen. The whole time he dried the dishes, his cheeks flushed and he bit his lip in shy repose. 

“Th-thank you Han for havin’ me an’ taking care of me.” Jesse said in a soft voice as he put his boots on. He had some laundry to attend to and such or he would bathe in the company of Hanzo all day and forever. But he also wanted to distance himself, he was too close and he didn't want to throw a wrench into his recovery from Miquel at all. 

Hanzo gazed warmly at Jesse, “You are most welcome. Remember, I'm here if you need anything. That's what neighbors are for.” 

Neighbors, that's right. A slight twinge of heartache blended with false relief washed over Jesse. Sure that's logically what he wanted to hear, but honestly he wanted to confess his foolish and all too soon feelings for him. Putting his hat on his head, he tipped it to his more than generous neighbor and took his leave. 

\-----

As Hanzo closed the door, he turned and let his back slide down it. That was the most emotionally draining evening he could ever remember experiencing. That was saying a lot since his younger brother was the epitome of trouble making drama queen. He ran his fingers through his hair absentmindedly. Out of nowhere this handsome, cowboy loving treasure shows up in his store and he's all he can think about. Standing back up, Hanzo walked into the bathroom and gazed at himself in the mirror, his mind reeling about the past 24 hours. 

He found a man who was so soft and gentle. Although he looked like he was rather tough, in reality he was a puddle. Someone that was completely emotionally scarred and broken. All he wanted to do was hold Jesse all night long, in hopes of mending at least one of the shattered pieces. Last night started off how Hanzo wanted, despite how nervous he himself was. Praying that Jesse wouldn't notice the way his hands shook as he carried the tray or how he would steal glances. It was a lot, but it made Hanzo’s heart soar. And when Jesse’s phone rang, Hanzo could feel his stomach drop as Jesse’s face went white. He had an inkling that something bad is what brought Jesse here. From the shy and adorable behavior to the look of him clearly arguing with himself, Hanzo knew something was going to come out of the woodwork and present itself. 

Hanzo dressed himself in his usual attire of fitted black t-shirt and tight slim fit black jeans, slipping his shoes on and tying his hair back, he left the apartment. His sharp stare kept his usual chatter with everyone at bay as he walked down the sidewalk towards his shop. Good thing he had help on the weekends so he could allow himself to come in late. As he entered the Paperback Dragon he felt a sense of longing. He wanted to run back to the apartment and scoop Jesse up and kiss the pain away, but it wasn’t that simple. It was clear to him from the beginning that he would need to let Jesse come to him when he was ready. All Hanzo was able to do was show his support and make his own feelings clear. Had he done that? Grabbing his smock, he tied it around his waist as his part timer waved at him from the register. He thought that he was making his feelings known, but he had been known in the past to not be as transparent as he thought he was being. 

“Hey Mr. Shimada!” The part timer happily exclaimed. It was a young girl, no older than eighteen. She had long brown hair that she had tied up into bun with a few stray tendrils spilling off to one side. She was on the taller side, almost as tall as Hanzo and she had a curvy figure that she often dressed in bodycon type dresses, and today was no exception. She kept waving at Hanzo, but she was getting no response. After a few moments, she rang the service bell.

Hanzo snapped out of it as he jumped out of his skin, “My goodness Taliah, you scared me!” He grabbed his chest in an effort to quell his heart and quiet his breathing.

She chuckled to herself as she leaned on the counter, “Serves you right. You were being super spacey!” 

“The service bell is not a toy…” He replied. His cheeks were hot with irritation. He knew he was being aloof, but he didn’t think it was that bad.

“Well now that we have you back on planet Earth,” She paused as she looked him over. “Tell me how it went last night. I’m dying for details!” 

Oh yeah, he had told Taliah that he was going to invite Jesse over for tea last night. But he didn’t want to get too into it as it was a severe violation of Jesse’s privacy. He figured he’d keep the details to a minimum, that should satisfy the teenager’s innate curiosity. Hanzo nodded to her gently as he began to brew the tea for the two of them. “Alright, calm down.”

“Yes!” Taliah beamed brightly as she rushed out from behind the counter. She pulled the chairs up to one of the tables sitting by the entrance so that way they could watch for customers while chatting. It was a usual occurrence on Sunday. They would chitchat about pop culture and boys and enjoy tea while people watching, helping customers when and if they arrived. 

Sunday was always quiet, which was one of the things that Hanzo absolutely adored. He got to enjoy the serenity of his shop without having to attend to a lot of people. Granted lately he got a lot of book orders online, so in store traffic was never terribly heavy. Still, he relished in the peace of it all.

Taliah sat down, crossing her legs and cradling the cup that Hanzo had given to her. “Alright, so why don’t you start by telling me about how you invited him over!”

Hanzo’s cheeks turned a soft pink as he began to regale the tale, while omitting all of the most crucial and frankly none of her business parts. Granted none of it was technically her business, but she was decent work company as far as teenagers go. He didn’t want to warp their work relationship by snapping over it, at least not this time. Honestly he was giddy to just talk about spending time with the gentle man. The whole time he spoke, Taliah didn’t break her focus on him and it made him uncomfortable. That’s just how he was when it came to talking to women, he didn’t hate them but he felt like an alien under their gaze. 

As if to become aware, the part timer pulled her gaze away to sip her tea. There were times when she could be more aware of other people. She was still young enough to use the excuse that she was ‘still learning how to read people’. 

“Wow Mr. S…sounds like you found yourself a modern cowboy.” Taliah mused, her fingers tracing the rim of the cup. “So...when is the second date?”

Hanzo coughed, “That wasn’t a date, I was meeting my neighbor.” He grumbled something under his breath as he sipped his tea. “Besides, I think I’ll give him space...he seems like he needs it and I don’t want to intrude on his feelings.”

“Men are so...well nice. When my girlfriend is upset I smother her until she talks to me.” She replied.

That was no joke. Hanzo had bore witness to several occassions when Taliah was texting her girlfriend incessantly trying to get her to reply after a spat. It was definitely juvenile, but this situation was very different than what she was talking about. This wasn’t a relationship, just an acquaintanceship and unrequited crush on his part. He sighed to himself as a group of customers funneled into the shop. “Alright, back to work.” 

Taliah popped up and meandered back to the register after greeting the customers. Hanzo stood at the front of the store watching as everyone looked at the bookshelves, trying to find something suited to their tastes. 

The other joy of Hanzo’s work, learning what made people tick. Each new or used book they bought taught him something about each of them. He thought back to the old Western book that Jesse had purchased. A smile curled on his lips, it was adorable to think of him reading it. Like the day he had seen Jesse in the cafe. It was hard for Hanzo to not sit down beside him and enjoy his company while they read together. He longed for that so much. Pining for a rugged man with enough charm and adorable flusters to keep him smiling and in love for the rest of eternity. 

The rest of the day was rather eventful as far as customers go. Surprisingly a lot for a Sunday afternoon, but it kept his mind from wandering and feeling hopeless for a man who probably didn’t feel the same way. A chill shot up his back, ‘What if I made him anxious by carrying him to bed? Was making him breakfast in bed too obvious?’ Were just a few thoughts to torment him when he found a moment to himself to think. He sent Taliah home at 3:30 so he could finish closing up and collect himself before returning home.

After locking up the shop, Hanzo found himself wandering the neighborhood. His thoughts were a muddy pool swirling back and forth as he tried to keep them clear. But something kept bothering him, Jesse’s ex. Jesse had confided in him that he had been harassing him and that was the reason he had to change his number and everything. Hanzo even learned about the relationship a little bit in and of itself, although Jesse kept the details fairly vague, ‘he was a bit controlling’ or ‘we just didn’t click’. No this was a lot more than that, Hanzo knew better than to pry and knew that Jesse would tell him when and if he wanted to. On the street he was on was a kitschy little shop filled with knick knacks and curios that seemed mildly cheesy and touristy, but just as he passed a particular item caught his eye. He had to get it, there was no way he was leaving this store without it. Hanzo rushed into the store, on a mission.

\------

Jesse had spent all day wallowing. He was so beyond ashamed of how he handled everything last night. That morning was heavenly though and that was what he clung onto. Hanzo didn’t say or do anything to make him feel bad about how he reacted to the call or anything, and he was so warm and receptive to how much he enjoyed the breakfast. It was literally night and day with how it all happened. What he wouldn't give to have a do over of the tea time they had spent together. 

Jesse sat staring out the window gazing at the street below. The sun had begun to sink down and the dark grey clouds he had become accustomed to blew in. The smell of the impending rain storm tickled his nose and put his mind at ease. He wasn't a huge fan of the rain, but the scent of it always was a fond memory of his, so it was something he'd hold onto tightly.

By the time night had completely fallen, the rain had begun. Soft and delicate at first with just a whisper of wind pushing the droplets into the apartment. But within a few minutes the gusting began and the torrential downpour ensued. Just as Jesse went to shut the window, the sight of a drenched Hanzo running toward the building caught his eye. He was hunched over as if to be protecting something.

Without a second thought, Jesse sprung up. He grabbed the biggest and fluffiest towel he had and a slice of the pie he had forced himself to bake to make himself cheer up. Just as he opened the door, he was looking straight at a drenched Hanzo.

Hanzo was soaked to the bone. His clothes clung and suctioned to his flesh. His normally well groomed hair flat and wet against his head. He was mortified about how he looked in front of Jesse, he was about to greet him, but before he could speak, he had a large and warm towel draped over his shoulders. 

“Thank you Jesse…” he was flabbergasted and didn't know what to say. He must of seen him running up to the building in the downpour.

Jesse's brow furrowed in concern, “Ya need to get dried off Han, you'll catch yer death like that.” He took his large hand and rubbed the towel gently but firmly to absorb some of the water.”

Hanzo smiled, “You're too sweet Jesse...oh I have something for you. I saw it on my way home and thought it might cheer you up.” His cheeks flushed as he pulled a teddy bear out from underneath his shirt. 

Jesse almost dropped the plate he had on his other hand. Hanzo pulled out a teddy bear for him, and it wasn't just any bear. This one adorned an adorable cowboy hat, flannel shirt and chaps. Tears swelled in his eyes, “Han, y-ya didn't have ta go n’ get me anythin’.” His face was on fire and his voice choked in response to the surprise. 

Hanzo handed the slightly damp bear to Jesse. The response was more than he was expecting, but it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter uncontrollably. “I wanted to.” He smiled at Jesse warmly despite his body feeling like a block of ice. “I know you're feeling down, so I want you to have that to hug.” Hanzo had such a difficult time articulating certain things still, so he hoped he was understood.

“This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me,” Jesse smiled through happy tears, but the shivers of Hanzo brought him back. “Come on darlin’, let’s git ya dried and warmed.” He put his arm around the other man's shoulders pulling him in. 

Hanzo was greeted by the cozy and adorably decorated apartment of his neighbor. The flannel accents and Western decor gave the home a warm and comfortable feeling. “Thank you.” His eyes wandered as he slipped off his waterlogged shoes. 

Jesse set the pie on the counter before coming to escort Hanzo to the bathroom. “I know yer right next door n’ all, but please hop in the nice warm shower. I'll git ya somethin’ warm n’ dry.” He was pretty proud of himself. Not only were his thoughts cohesive, but he managed to seem reliable. Of course he was worried about Hanzo getting feverish and that surely took precedent over all of his thoughts. 

Entering the bathroom, Hanzo shed his heavy clothes. He couldn't believe this was happening. Not only had he managed to play it cool, but he was also able to give Jesse the teddy bear he found. He blushed to himself while turning the shower on. 

The water was like fiery needles piercing his skin. Normally he wouldn't have the water so warm, but he was frozen all the way to his core and Hanzo needed to bring his temperature up. He looked around she shower at the things Jesse used. Was that an apple blossom scented shampoo? No wonder why he thought Jesse smelled like an orchard last night. He hoped he wouldn't mind if he used it. The water finally was completely tolerable as the droplets cascaded down his chiseled body. He lathered up his body after rinsing his hair, however being naked in the man you’re into’s shower had its drawbacks. Hanzo found it extremely difficult to settle down, as soon as he began to wash, he was throbbing at the the idea of Jesse touching him. 

Hanzo bit back those feelings as much as he could, only touching himself long enough to thoroughly wash and rinse. As much as he wanted to release, there's no way he'd be quiet about it. 

-

Jesse couldn't contain himself. The sound of the shower and knowing that Hanzo was on the other side naked and washing was enough to drive him mad. As he was putting together a cozy and warm ensemble, he had to adjust himself in his jeans a number of times. He cursed himself for not wearing more comfortable bottoms at a time like this, the thought of changing did cross his mind. Then again, he’d be horribly embarrassed if Hanzo caught him in such a state. Jesse pulled out of his cushiest sweaters and pants and folded them on the bed, he also grabbed a pair of his best slipper socks to keep his guest warm. 

“Hey Han, I laid some clothes out for ya on the bed,” he called as he knocked on the bathroom door. His face flushed immediately. He’s completely naked on the other side of this door...Jesse shook himself out of it.

There was a brief pause before Hanzo replied, “Thank you. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

A few minutes. Rushing into the kitchen, Jesse whipped up a batch of his famous hot chocolate (well famous to Meemaw and him). He melted the chocolate with the milk and stirred it with a cinnamon stick before pouring it into their mugs. He garnished each with cinnamon and a dollop of whipped cream and of course another cinnamon stick. It was a pretty looking drink he thought to himself as he brought the mugs into the livingroom. Carefully setting them down on the coffee table, he went to warm the piece of pie he had initially cut for Hanzo. 

While he waited, Jesse grabbed the bear that he was given. A warmth washed over him, flooding his senses and rendering him internally speechless. The bear was soft and pudgy just like him, and the hat and flannel were reminiscent of an outfit he had just worn the other day. The fact that Hanzo got it for him was an entirely new thought well in and of itself. Jesse tried picturing how sweet he must of looked when he bought it from the store, the thought made his cheeks turn bright pink. He buried his face into the bear and his nose was filled with the soft musk of Hanzo. 

-

The shower was a perfect way to warm himself. Hanzo grabbed the towel and did his preliminary drying there in the tub so as not to soak the floor more than he already had. His midnight black hair hung in his face as he brushed the water off his skin. Gently he dabbed his dragon tattoo dry, a smile curling on his usually straight face. The thought of Jesse drying him caused him to stir again, damn. Now he had that to contend with again. 

After several minutes of talking himself down, Hanzo finally was able to tie the towel around his waist. He took several moments to braid his hair back so it would dry nicely, although as usual the shorter strands fell into his face. Wet or not, they never cooperated. Stretching slightly, Hanzo took in his appearance more carefully. Was he Jesse's type? Shaking it off he went to the door and carefully opened it, the cold hair rushing him causing more steam as it hit his body. 

Jesse's bedroom was darling. The bed a nice wooden headboard and the bed spread was simple. The walls were filled with some of Jesse's more personal taste decorations, like old movie posters from Western films and what appeared to be a very weathered pair of spurs. That was something that Hanzo admired about him, he was himself through and through. 

The clothes were very loose on Hanzo's trim body, but they were warm and soft. The socks were incredibly comfortable, surrounding his toes with fleece. Jesse sure knew how to pick warming clothes. Well, he was now ready to go out and face him again, the butterflies rampant, and his cool and stoney facade was slowly ebbing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to join me on Tumblr @mchanzo-plz for all things McHanzo and fic updates and thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter five lovelies! 
> 
> Unbeta'd so excuse my mistakes. Thank you and see you at the end of the chapter!

When Hanzo walked out into the living room, he was greeted by the sight of Jesse curled up on the couch with the teddy bear tight in his arms. It took every ounce of willpower to not tear up at the incredibly precious sight. He had to make his presence known so he didn't startle him. “Thank you Jesse.” Hanzo said softly, walking over to the couch.

Jesse peaked out from the embrace he had on the bear, his face had never been so red in his life. As much as he wanted to run and hide from embarrassment from his coddling the bear situation, he was magnetized to the striking man before him. Jesse didn’t think he could get any more attractive, but seeing Hanzo in his clothes and clearly swimming them took his breath away. “Y-y-you’re welcome Han.” His voice struggled as he sat back up, swiftly casting his gaze downward.

Hanzo smiled at him softly, his own face still burned slightly. He sat down beside Jesse, as he nervously and hopefully casually tried to tuck his loose hair behind his ear. Softly clearing his throat, he mustered up his own voice again, “I’m very happy that you like the bear.” Hanzo prayed that wouldn’t send Jesse running. He was so fragile and tender that anything could trigger him. He hoped that something simple like that wouldn’t cause a stir.

“I love it…” Jesse paused as he glanced his eyes over to Hanzo, who was sitting comfortably close to him. “It’s the nicest gift I’ve ever gotten..,” The heat from the other man radiating and seeping into his thigh. He let his thick fingers clumsily brush through the bear’s face, a nervous but genuinely happy smile graced his face.

After a moment of awkward silence, Jesse came back to his senses, he handed Hanzo the cup of hot cocoa he had whipped up for him and the slice of pie. “Thought a warm drink an’ somethin’ sweet might warm ya.”

Hanzo took a sip of the hot cocoa. The chocolate and cinnamon dancing on his tongue in a delicious waltz of flavor. “Oishī!” He took another longer sip. The flavor was perfectly balanced and definitely warmed him from the inside out. As he pulled the mug away and set it on the table, a soft chuckle caught his attention, “And what is so amusing?”

Jesse had dew drop tears in his eyes as he giggled, “Han, ya got whipped cream on yer nose.” Leaning in instinctually, Jesse took his finger and gently wiped it away. Without even thinking, he brought the finger to his lips and gently suckled the cream.

The normally level headed Hanzo went a deep red. He wasn't expecting that at all, and he felt a twitch stir beneath his sweat pants. Running his hand anxiously through his hair he smiled in an effort to try and mask his nervousness. Completely at a loss for words, Hanzo set his mug back on the coffee table. His shaking hands placed firmly on his knees to steady them.

“Oh shoot Darlin’ I’m sorry!” Jesse quickly replied to the silence. He had just acted on a natural impulse and didn’t think anything of it in the moment. His face was equally as red as Hanzo’s. I hope he doesn’t think I’m weird or hate me...Panicked thoughts racing through his mind as he stared at the ground in horror.

Hanzo took a deep breath to regain his composure. It was clear that this man was going to melt him completely, but he still needed to keep somewhat of a level head. Finally able to muster up something, a soft chuckle escaped his lips, “It’s ok, don’t worry. I was just surprised...not in a bad way.” His usual articulateness was hindered still. Hanzo reached over and placed a gentle hand on Jesse’s shoulder, “I thought it was adorable.”

Adorable. Adorable? Adorable?! Jesse’s mind raced as the rouge color remained locked on his cheeks. The warmth of the other man’s hand on his shoulder causing a raging torrent of heat to surge through his body. Immediately aching and longing for the touch all over, while his jeans became unbearably tight. He almost jumped, but the possibility of revealing his current ‘situation’ kept him grounded. “Sh-shucks Han….” was all he could muster while squeezing the teddy bear close.

Jesse felt like he was in a hyper realistic dream. The fluttering and nerves like a fantasy pinging through his mind. The vividness of it all attributed to the love starved life he had been leading, now causing him to hallucinate these things. But the hand on his shoulder brought him to the conscious reality he was living, proving that his was more than just a dream. That there was someone as genuine and tender as Hanzo in the realm of the waking. He felt more pragmatic than usual, even in his flustered state of being. It was refreshing to have some semblance of feet on the ground. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face Hanzo, tucking one of his feet underneath him as he shifted. “Thank you Hanzo.”

Looking mildly perplexed, Hanzo’s hand softly fell down Jesse’s arm when he turned. “For what?” His curiosity was piqued at this sudden gratitude.

“Ya made me realize how much I’ve been missin’ out on,” He replied thoughtfully. Placing his hand on top of Hanzo’s on his opposite arm. Jesse was feeling himself for the first time in years, not since before Miquel came into his life and ruined it. He still felt the pang of shyness, but he definitely had a bit more confidence looking Hanzo in the eye. “So thank you.”

Hanzo’s heart began to beat so hard that it felt like his rib cage was about to burst open. The warmth of Jesse’s hand on top of his was intoxicating and euphoric. He had to admit that since his brother had moved away with his boyfriend that he had been leading the life of the lone wolf. Only company he kept was at work and even that was a bit much. But Jesse made all of that isolation melt away. He now longed to have his days filled with nothing but him. “I should be thanking you too…” Hanzo smiled at him while putting his other hand on top of Jesse’s, sandwiching it between his own. “Thank you for moving here.”

Jesse froze. His body felt like it was boiling and his breath trapped in his lungs. Was this a mutual feeling they shared? Did they both admit to needing each other without actually coming out and saying it? He couldn’t be sure and his mind was flooded with ‘what if’s’. He wanted to stay locked in this moment. However, reality was bitter and cruel, and he knew that he had to re-distance himself so as not to inadvertently hurt Hanzo or himself. Jesse gently pulled his hand away, a smile on his face, cheeks flushed. “Thanks fer havin’ me.”

“Oh...you’re welcome.” Hanzo’s voice softly fell. Had he misread the situation? It was possible. Being alone for so long, there was a huge probability of that being the reason. His stomach sinking, he stood up. “Thank you so much for letting me freshen up, I should probably get home and sleep...work comes early.” His chest felt heavy and his heart ached.

Why was he like this? “Alright Han. I’ll bring ya yer dried clothes later tomorrow then?” Jesse asked with his own feelings of regret.

Nodding, Hanzo walked to the entryway to grab his soaked boots. “Alright. Have a good evening Mr. McCree.” Distance in his voice, distance from those around him and distance from his own feelings. Hanzo bowed and left Jesse’s apartment.

“You’re a fucking idiot Jesse McCree.” He said to himself after he was certain Hanzo was in his own apartment and out of earshot.

\------

The next morning, Jesse arrived to the bakery an hour before normal to work on some of his pastry projects he had begun working on. He was trying to perfect his recipes and come up with new items for the display case. Not that the Kyle’s didn’t already have an enticing spread, but he wanted to contribute more to thank them for all of their care. He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink after what happened. Jesse had been so scared of his own feelings, that all he knew to do was shut them down and push Hanzo away. Oh how he hoped he hadn’t just burned the bridge to him in that moment of confusion.

Mr. and Mrs. Kyle arrived right when they were scheduled, surprised to see Jesse hard at work already. The shop was set for opening, the small table in the front corner of the shop had a fresh pot of coffee and freshly baked muffins waiting to be eaten.

“Jesse dear, how long have you been here?” Mrs. Kyle called out.

Coming out from the back, his face covered in a soft dusting of flour, “Oh, not too long...about an hour or so.” Jesse replied.

Mr. Kyle walked over to him and smiled trying to mask his concern, “You didn’t sleep at all last night did you?”

Was his sleep depravity that obvious? Jesse looked away as he chuckled, “I slept some, but I was excited to git back to work today.” It was somewhat true. He had been itching to work on some of his recipes, and his kitchen in the apartment wasn’t big enough to accommodate. “I hope me comin’ in that early is alrigh’, I shoulda asked before doin’ that.”

“Oh it’s no problem dear, we’re just worried about you getting enough sleep.” Mrs. Kyle interjected, her concern also apparent.

“I assure y’all, I’m totally fine. Just couldn’t sleep last night is all.” He surprised himself with the emptiness of his own words. “I best git back to it.” Jesse nodded his head to them before disappearing into the kitchen again.

He spent the day in the kitchen, pouring himself into his work and not letting himself stop for a minute. Every time he did, his mind would flash back to how he wouldn't allow himself any happiness. It was a choice he made to protect himself, not that Hanzo would just decimate his world or anything. However, Jesse was very much a fool and it was smarter for him to not let his heart become fully entangled.

As the sun fell beneath the Seattle skyline, Jesse had just finished up the last batch of the day. He had made no effort to mingle out in the shop like he normally did, which he hoped the Kyle’s didn’t mind. His typical social behavior was replaced with the need to hide away, and didn’t wish to offend them. It was clear however that they understood when they gave him a fond farewell before leaving the shop. Jesse loved closing up shop. It gave him the opportunity to replay the day as he cleaned up, trying to reimagine what had happened with each customer.

A soft buzzing brought his thoughts back. His phone was going off in his pocket with an unknown number gracing the caller ID. It was sad that the initial feeling was relief that it wasn’t Meemaw’s number for once, but he knew just who it was. It was time he really laid down the law and put Miquel in his place. Jesse slid the notification to the side to answer the incoming call.

“What do ya want Miquel?” Jesse’s voice tart.

“Mi amado, why are you so hostile?” Miquel’s voice was chilling in his questioning.

Jesse massaged his forehead with his other hand in frustration, “Yer the reason I’m so damn hostile. Why won’t you stop callin’ me? I was purrdy sure I made it clear that I wanted you out of my life.”

“Sos tan tonto...Why would I leave you alone sweetness?” His voice purred. A soft sound of traffic and car horns in the background.

Jesse’s temper was about to erupt. “I’m not bein’ funny Miquel, I mean it. Leave me the fuck alone.”

A soft and haughty chuckle filled the other line, “Mi amado, you know I can’t do that to you. You’d be so lost in this big city without me, lost and wandering….trying to find your Godforsaken purpose.”

Big city? Was he trying to directly identify his location? “I've found my purpose, thank you.” Jesse decided it best to avoid that point completely and move forward on the train going absolutely nowhere.

“Hmmm, I don't think working in a stuffy little bakery in Seattle is purposeful Jesse.”

Jesse’s blood ran cold, he could scarce hear anything else Miquel was trying to say on the other line. How? How the fuck did he know? His chest tightened and breaths began to escape him. It was as if an entire ocean had collapsed on his body and the pressure began to crush him.

Miquel’s voice cut through Jesse like an icy knife. “Mi amado. Mi rey. You should have known better than to hide from the man who knows you best.”

“Why…why do you think that's where I'm at?” Jesse didn't want to know the answer, but he had to know at the same time. The horror building up, adding to the immense pressure of his panic.

“Because, I can see you through the store window...my you have gotten more pudgy haven't you. Although I will say that you look rather precious in that apron.”

Throwing down the phone, Jesse smashed it to pieces before darting over to ensure that the shop door was locked and running back to the kitchen. His heart beating frantically, he struggled to catch his breath. Skin dripping with sweat, Jesse grabbed the shop phone and hid underneath one of the counters, pressing himself back against the base. He was so tired of living in fear like this, so tired of feeling broken and sad. It was all Miquel’s fault and now he was close, too close. He shouldn't have broke his phone again, but it was so much to bear and he couldn't anymore. The panicked tears streamed down his face as he held the bakery’s phone in his quivering hands. So tired of crying, so tired of protecting himself and trying to move on.

The phone rang in his hands. He knew who it was, the bakery number was on the glass of the front window. Jesse couldn't break this phone. “What?” His voice trembling.

“That was very rude Mi Rey...hanging up and running away before letting me in. Tsk tsk tsk.” Miquel hissed softly.

Fuck. He was right outside. Thank goodness he had the sense to lock the door before he came too close to the shop. Jesse swallowed hard, he couldn't form words anymore.

\-----

Hanzo walked slowly home after closing up the bookstore. It was a quiet day that felt like an eternity to him. All he could think about was how to cheer Jesse up. Granted it wasn't that there was a bad mood when he left the apartment last night, he just wanted to put the other man’s mind at ease. Perhaps he'd make Jesse some rice balls to show his appreciation when he returned the clothes? His mind reeled as he sauntered up to his apartment building.

Who is that man out front? He thought to himself. The man was on the phone and staring daggers into the clearly closed bakery. The sight made Hanzo extremely uneasy, he tried to brush it off as he passed the man and walked to unlock the main door.

“Jesse, you’re being ridiculous...open the door…you’re being a baby and that’s not very becoming I hope you know.” The man sneered.

Hanzo dropped his keys as the man uttered his neighbor's name. He knew better than to butt in, but the sheer boiling rage that stirred within him caused him to lose his cool. Picking up his keys, Hanzo turned and faced the stranger, his eyes shooting daggers as he threaded the keys through his fingers. He knew he couldn’t just strike the man down and beat him senseless, he’d be thrown in jail immediately for one such act. He needed to be more tactful. He had to get the man away from the bakery, and try to save Jesse.

Taking a deep breath, he kept his arms loose to his sides while ensuring that the keys were still at the ready...just in case. Hanzo approached the man and calmly asked, “Are you lost sir? Do you need directions?”

“Hold on just a moment Mi amador,” the man pulled the phone to his chest and looked at the Japanese man standing before him. “I am not lost. I'm here for this bakery.” His words curt.

Hanzo chuckled softly as his eyes hardened, “I'm sorry but that bakery isn't open and the police around here do not take loitering kindly.” Regardless of his rage, he perfectly masked the fire burning within himself.

Looking beyond annoyed, the man pulled the the phone back up to his ear, “I have to go mi amador, don't you go doing something stupid. Te quiero…” Hanging up the phone, the man got into Hanzo’s face, looking down on him slightly. “Fine. I'll come back tomorrow.” The man turned and left, his irritation apparent on his face.

Taking a moment, Hanzo etched the image of who he assumed was Miquel into his mind. A tall muscular man with bronzed skin and thick chocolate brown hair. He had piercing green eyes that seemed to look down on everyone and everything. Not someone he could ever envision Jesse being with, but he was certain something drew him in. Hanzo waited for Miquel to disappear from sight before turning his attention to the bakery he knew Jesse was trapped in. There was absolutely no way he could call without triggering a panic, but he had another idea entirely.

\----

The silence was deafening. Had that really just happened? Did Miquel truly find him and try to connect? It was all so overwhelming and Jesse wanted no part of it. Pulling his legs close, he made himself as small as possible, pressing himself against the base of the counter. He wanted to cease existing. The only silver lighting is that someone had managed to drive Miquel away, although the line was muffled and he couldn't make out the voice. All he knew is that he was grateful.

Five or so minutes passed and Jesse's tears were still falling like delicate raindrops down his face. A soft hum of something beautiful caught his ear. The gentle whisper of a guitar wrapped itself around his mind, warming him from the inside out. Shortly after the voice of an angel joined in.

_“You don't need to fear this heart. It's a pain I will help you shed, no more tears, no more sadness. You're a beautiful soul and I lose my control. All I want you to know...I am here for you.”_

Jesse recognized that dark and smoky voice, his heart ached as he listened to the honeyed words of devotion and assurance. The tear flowed even more as he pulled himself up from his hiding spot.

_“I know you're stuck running, from the darkness of your past. But let me tell you now, I'll help you get over that. There's no need to cry, no need to hide. You're a beautiful soul and I lose my control. You have got to know...I am here for you.”_

Weak kneed, he fumbled out of the kitchen into the store area. Jesse's eyes met with the most moving sight he had ever seen. Hanzo was swaying on the sidewalk, his acoustic guitar slung across his while he strummed and sang. Several onlookers had come to watch the performance in awe. No one was as much in awe as Jesse. He had to get outside to him, wrap his arms around him and lose himself to his warmth.

Hanzo smiled as he continued singing, his eyes gentle as they locked onto Jesse’s. Wanting nothing more than to ensure that this sweet and gentle man felt safe and adored. He took a few steps closer to the window, the guitar enchanting the air with it’s tender story.

_“If the sun will never shine, If the raining never stops. I’ll be there for you, a light in your darkness. I promise no more need to cry, no more need to hide. You beautiful soul, and I won’t let go. You’ve got to know….”_

His guitar hit the final chord, and his eyes never left Jesse’s. His heart breaking for the man before him. He had said all he needed to in the song, of course he omitted the last line as that was probably a bit too thick for the situation at hand.

Standing pressed against the glass door, Jesse’s knees shook and knocked together as he stared in disbelief. The beautiful and tender words that were sung to him by a man who was damn near selfless.His chest ached as the pain from 10 minutes before ebbed away to a warm bun that melted that hurt away. Jesse’s amber eyes swelled with pools of joy that could never be described, even if he wanted to. Unlocking the door, the rugged baker stepped out to be greeting by applause from the on lookers. As if he wasn’t embarrassed enough already, his tear stained and blushed face burned.

Swinging the guitar over to his back, Hanzo walked up to Jesse carefully and stopped a foot in front of him. His expression still warm and soothing, “Are you alright?”

Jesse nodded, his hair matted with sweat from his anxiety, “I-I w-w-wanna g-go home.” His caught in his throat, making him almost inaudible.

Tenderly Hanzo took Jesse’s hand. The feeling of the baker’s rough, calloused fingers in his palm made his stomach flutter. This precious man, every time he saw him, was near him, he felt this sense of need and wanting. The need to protect and the want to just be with him...it pained him, but it was one he didn't mind at all.

The two made it up to the calm safety of Jesse's apartment. Jesse was still lost in an odd realm of terror and euphoria. His fantasy of having this gorgeous man song to him came true a lot quicker than he thought and hoped that it would definitely happen again. He watched as Hanzo excused himself to the kitchen after he helped him into the living room. The sound of rummaging and possibly tea making filled his ears. It wasn't long until the scent of tea ensnared him, closely followed by Hanzo emerging from the kitchen with two mugs.

Sitting down beside Jesse, Hanzo carefully handed him one of the mugs, “I hope you don't mind that I made you tea…” his voice soft.

With unsteady hands, Jesse took the piping hot mug, gently blowing on it. Taking a small sip, he let the liquid rush in. The taste of the bitter black tea leaves melting on his tongue, relaxing him. “Thank you Hanzo.” He stared into the liquid, funny how Hanzo already knew how strong he liked his teas. The thought soothed him.

They sat together in comfortable silence, sipping their tea and absorbing each other's company. The ambient sound of yet another rain storm pitter pattered against the window pane, while the refreshing scent permeated the apartment.

Jesse finished his cup, gently he sat it back on the coffee table before he managed to find his voice again. “I'm sorry ya had to see that…” he paused to gauge Hanzo's response, which was met with a sincere and gentle expression. Jesse continued, “He uhhhh….he must’a went through a lotta diggin’ to figure out everythin’.” Stopping again, wishing he could fill the awkward pauses with something other than his uncomfortable swallowing. “I’m grateful that…” He sighed softly while pulling at his shirt, “Ya didn't have ta do that Han.”

Hanzo took the final sip of his own tea before pulling the mug away from his face, his eyes intense with clear concern. “Jesse McCree...I am well aware that I didn't have to. I do what I do because I want to.” Setting the mug beside Jesse's he continued. “I may not know how deeply he hurt you, but I have quite the idea based on your behavior and _meeting_ him.”

Jesse gazed at his own lap, the knot in his stomach ever prevalent. “Honestly, I was hopin’ no one would ever know. He's a monster and manipulative as all Hell.” A twinge of anger laced his shaken voice.

“That maybe so, but I'll be damned if I stand idle while you're being harassed and emotionally torn apart. I won't stand for it.” Hanzo replied, leaning in close to the other man, but still granting him space.

“I just don't want him to do anythin’ to ya. He might not hurt Meemaw, but guys are a totally different ball game.” Jesse clenched his fists. “I've seen him turn nasty...if he knows that yer doin’ all this fer me…”

Hanzo gently interrupted, “Let him find out...as long as the repercussions have nothing to do with hurting you, I'll take it all.” He gazed out the window, watching the rain dance down the glass to mother nature’s symphony. “I promise I'll do what I can and not let anyone hurt you again.” His hand reaching out and wrapping itself in Jesse’s, squeezing softly.

There was something about the way Hanzo spoke and the resolve in his eyes that made Jesse want to believe him. He wanted that protection, but he also wanted to be strong enough to take care of himself. Squeezing his hand back, Jesse laid his head against Hanzo's shoulder. His eyes heavy, he faded into darkness as the warmth of this wonderful man surrounded him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all as always for your wonderful support and remember to join me on Tumblr @mchanzo-plz for a ton of McHanzo goodies and chapter updates! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mchanzo-plz


	6. Chapter 6

Jesse's eyes fluttered open. It had been one week since the incident with Miquel, and one week since he had been to work. The Kyle’s had been more than understanding about the entire situation, which relieved him to no end. However, the idea of taking advantage of their offered kindness bothered him. Although they did practically force him into taking some time off and hiding away. Sitting up, he let the flannel sheet glide off of his bare chest as he gazed thoughtfully out the window, the soft murmur of the city paired with the steady fall of a gentle rain filled his apartment. 

In the past week, Jesse had managed to keep his apartment spotless. He had grown so disconnected and so bored that he scarcely knew what to do with himself, tv was never really his favorite thing and he longed to have the normalcy back in his life. Being able to get a cup of coffee from the cafe and chat with Chelsea for hours about trivial things that made them smile. Not to mention visiting the Paperback Dragon and watching the world’s most beautiful man work meticulously at keeping his shop just so. Even getting back to work for himself, more so than anything he just wanted what happened to just be a bad dream and fade away into nothing. 

\-----

Hanzo had kept on red alert for the past week. His eyes piercing his surroundings as he hunted for the unwanted and definitely unwelcome guest that had arrived. Although he had to say that Miquel was fairly decent at keeping a relatively low profile. He had only caught sight of him a handful of times before it was clear that the intruder had learned his patterns. Every time he had crossed paths, an insatiable anger filled him, deep into the pit of his stomach. Each time he bit it back, because technically it wasn’t his place to get involved or say anything. The last thing Hanzo wanted was to warp any amount of trust he had with Jesse. 

Carefully he unloaded a batch of new books that had arrived early that morning. The scent of freshly printed books always seemed to settle his nerves when he was wound up. He also enjoyed the soft creak of the bindings when you first open them up and the feel of the paper against his fingertips. It was a simple love that he was so glad he’d pursued. 

“Wake up Mr. Shimada!” Taliah waved her hand in front of her boss’ face to snap him out of it. 

Hanzo jumped as he placed the last book on the shelf, shooting his employee an unamused glare. “I'll have you know that I'm completely awake.” Hastily he broke the box down and added it to the small pile of flattened boxes he had made since starting that morning. “I was simply in a state of deep reflection which requires me to be fully aware of my mental state.”

Raising an eyebrow in disbelief, Taliah kneeled down and collected the boxes for the recycling bin, “Uh huh, I’m sure that’s the case...not like I had been trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes or anything.” She laughed to herself as she disappeared into the back room of the store. 

How dare she question his mental presence? Hanzo had always prided himself as to how aware he was, but even he had to admit he was lacking. The whole mess with Miquel had been making his skin crawl to uncomfortable levels. 

“What was so important that you required my attention anyway?” Hanzo's response sharp and mildly annoyed. 

“You just looked out of it, worried ya know…” Taliah shouted from the back before returning to the bookstore owner’s side. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

A pang of guilt struck him as he cast his gaze back down in thought. He didn't mean to worry anyone. “I'm very sorry Taliah, I'll be more aware.” The iciness melting from his voice. 

She smiled at him as she went back about her work. 

\-----

“All righ’ McCree, you can do this…” Jesse stared himself down in the mirror. 

He had finally managed to dress himself and groom his beard to the way he generally liked it. Finally he was going to set foot outside. Having keeping in contact with the Kyle’s and little notes left from Hanzo, he had been able to keep track of Miquel’s whereabouts to some degree. Although going to such lengths made him uneasy and feel a bit like a stalker himself. Running his fingers through his hair once more, Jesse nodded to himself before setting out of the apartment. 

The sun glowed softly as the clouds drifted across the sky. A gentle wind sending the soothing fragrance of the bakery down the bustling little street. Oh how he had missed this. The quaint small town feeling this pocket of Seattle embodied, and the overall welcoming feeling. 

First things first, Jesse went straight to the cafe. Smoothing out his snug fitting t-shirt as he entered, he felt a sense of home the moment he heard his name shrieked from behind the counter. Scarcely having a moment to react, he was immediately being squeezed near to death by Chelsea.

“Ch-chels, yer suffocatin’ me.” His words soft as he tried to breath beneath her tight grip. 

Her hug softened just before letting go. Her softly rounded face beaming and her nose wrinkled as she smiled. “I'm just glad to see you! It's been so long and your phone went straight to voicemail.” Chelsea replied sounding a mix of relief and crestfallen. 

Jesse gazed at the ground as the guilt washed over him, “I’m sorry Chels...I know...it’s been rough...that and my phone is kinda broke.” He laughed awkwardly. His phone had been laying in a heap on his kitchen counter all week, not really bothering to get it fixed at all. It had been nice not feeling tethered to it. 

Smiling at him warmly she went back behind the counter and began getting Jesse’s usual order together. Jesse was so grateful to have such a warm hearted friend. Not that his friends from Santa Fe weren't nice, but Chelsea was a step above them in terms of caring. He took the hot cup of coffee and blew on it when she handed it over to him. The bitter taste was like a warm enveloping blanket that coated his senses and dulled the aching in his chest. 

The two of them talked and gossiped for hours, it was as if none of the past few weeks had happened. It was bliss, the relaxing sensation of not having his guard up completely was so satisfying, but whenever he made himself aware of it, he'd check himself. As nice as connecting with his friend was, there was no way he'd just allow himself to fall potentially as a victim to Miquel sneaking up on him. The rest of the day he spent at the cafe, having fun, but not too much fun and looking over his shoulder.

\-----

Hanzo spent the remainder of his day organizing the books that had just arrived and letting Taliah handle the customers. There were times he just wanted to be left alone in his own world and he was thankful that his employee and for the most part his customers understood that. There was a prickling anticipation creeping up his spine as he got towards closing time. A certain employee had spotted a charming looking ‘cowboy’ hanging out at the cafe and that caused his heart to skip a beat. Hanzo kept hoping that by the time he closed up the Paperback Dragon, that the cowboy would still be there. 

He knew that Jesse hadn’t left the apartment in the last week. So hearing that he was out made him so happy, he could hardly contain the smiles. However that made Hanzo hyper alert to passersby to make sure another certain someone wasn’t creeping about. 

As six o’clock rolled around, Hanzo locked up the bookstore with a spring in his step. His hope was that Jesse was still at the cafe with Chelsea, but he didn’t expect too much if he wasn’t there. Afterall it had been hours since he had gotten word.

\-----

The sidewalk was filled with pleasant chatter as the sun disappeared behind the buildings that loomed in the horizon. Hanzo hadn't expected there to be such commotion at this time of early evening. He shrugged it off as a quaint surprise as he entered the cafe. 

A soft hum of intimate conversations murmured through the small establishment. Although one voice in particular sang out above the rest. The soothing and thick southern drawl laced the atmosphere with a welcoming aura that instantly put Hanzo at ease. There he was sitting leaning against the counter, cheeks burned pink from laughter as he exchanged stories with Chelsea, Jesse McCree. Biting back the urge to run up to him, Hanzo casually sauntered up and sat beside him. 

Chelsea noticed immediately. Giggling softly she gestured for Jesse to look, “Ahem.”

\-----

For a second, Jesse's mind went absolutely blank and his body numb. He was having such a good time, he hadn't thought of looking over his shoulder at all in the last hour or so. He swallowed as his turned his head, only to be met with the dark and brooding vision that had ensnared his heart. “H-Han!” 

Hanzo smiled a gentle and warm, “I was hoping to find you here Mr. McCree.” 

Jesse was flabbergasted, but incredibly happy. “Shucks Han,” his voice cracking slightly as he rubbed the back of his head, blushing. 

Hanzo perched himself comfortably beside Jesse. Making sure not to be intrusive on the conversation he was having with Chelsea, and more to keep an eye out for Miquel. He hoped he didn’t come across possessive, as that wasn’t his intent. Hanzo just really wanted Jesse to feel comfortable and safe being out with his friends. 

The time slipped away and Hanzo found himself immersed in the gossipy conversation of Jesse and Chelsea. Sharing laughs and exchanging silly little details about the neighboring shops. Nothing awful of course, just who likes what type of books, coffee and pastries. Between the three of them, they had the information cornered.

As it drew nearer to closing time, Hanzo and Jesse excused themselves to allow Chelsea the opportunity to close up shop. They’d get together another time soon, but for now, Jesse wanted to walk under the night sky and city lights with Hanzo. 

“I’ll tell ya sug’ I needed that,” Jesse gushed, shoving his hands into his coat pockets.

“I’m glad you were able to get away,” Hanzo replied, his tone soft. His eyes subtly darting around to keep watch for the unwanted one. “It was nice to see you smiling so freely.”

A rosy hue stained the rugged man’s cheeks at the sentiment. “Well it was a lotta fun. I’d love to do somethin’ like that with ya again…” Jesse paused after he said that. Was that too much of a direct hint that he’d love to go out with Hanzo? He hoped not. After all, with Miquel lurking in the shadows, a date wouldn’t be the greatest idea. But being cooped up in the apartment anymore was absolutely out of the question. 

Hanzo stopped. “You know, I would love to do that Mr. McCree.” His tone gentle and flirtatious.

Jesse’s heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest. A date?! Their first date?! Was this really what was being discussed right now on this cool Seattle street? He had to bite back his jubilation to some degree, so he softly chewed his bottom lip. “Then uhhhhh, I say we should get it arranged er somethin’...soon.” Of course he wanted to say immediately, but they really needed to shake Miquel’s claws loose from him before anything concrete was decided.

“Of course. We’ll know when the time is right.” Hanzo’s eyes cast up to the night sky, soaking in the beams of starlight. “For now, we’ll take care of what needs to be taken care of, and everything will be alright. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for such a LONG hiatus. I have been dealing with some health stuff (I'm ok) and getting some other projects on the move. But I hope you enjoyed this little chapter. I promise to have more for chapter 7. Also please remember that if you have any questions or comments please share it warms my heart to hear them. And you can get ahold of me more quickly on tumblr: mchanzo-plz
> 
> Thank you all and chapter 7 is already underway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to apologize deeply for the delay! IRL stuff has been heavy, but good. However I will continue to update...even if it’s slower than I’d like.   
> As always typos and grammatical errors abound!

A stillness surrounded Miquel as he paced the hotel room floor, wearing a groove into the creaky boards and stained carpet. His emerald eyes flickered as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried to call the bakery again. It had been sometime since anyone had answered the other line, he wondered if they were screening the calls. An irritated breath escaped his pursed lips.

“Mi amado you’re being a pain in my ass…” He sighed as he sat down on the bed. It looked pristine. The corners perfectly cuffed around the edges of the mattress and not a single wrinkle in any of the fabric, except from where he sat. “Hmmm, well I know where you lurk mi rey, and I’ll just have to be more patient than I’ve been.”

Taking a breath, Miquel stood and shed his clothes before carefully peeling back the blankets and slipping into sleep.

\---

The soft sunlight had barely peaked over the buildings as Miquel walked casually down the sidewalk towards the bakery. He had given enough time to hopefully lull Jesse into a false sense of security. He felt confident that he’d pull his man back to where he needed to be today. Wearing a crisp pair of black slacks with shining charcoal loafers and a dark grey button-up that hugged his physique just right to pull all the attention to him.

Just as he rounded the corner, something else drew his goal for today from its original target. Hanzo had just put out his sign for the bookstore. This was going to be his mission today. It was exceedingly obvious that Jesse was attached to the Japanese man, and that set a fire off within him. A sneer spread across his lips as he ran his fingers through his thick chocolatey hair. He’d have Hanzo on edge all day and it would be delicious.

Straightening his shirt, Miquel sauntered up to the bookstore and pushed the door open. A soft chime of the soft bell attached to the door jingled in his ears as he was met with the soothing and tranquil atmosphere of the Paperback Dragon.

“How charming.” He cooed.

From the back of the store, a woman’s voice rang out, “There’s fresh tea brewing right now, please let me know if you need anything, and I’ll be right out!”

He didn’t reply. Hanzo knew his voice and he knew better than to essentially announce his presence here. Instead he began perusing the shop and taking in every aspect of the stores layout. Miquel wanted to know his enemy well, inside and out.

“Well good morning sir!” A cheerful voice chimed from the young woman now standing before him.

Taken aback by the sudden contact, he smiled softly. “Buenos días my dear.”   
“My name is Taliah and is there anything I can help you find this morning?” She asked while she picked up a stray book that had been left from the night before.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you chica, and no I am just taking it all in.” Miquel replied as he tossed his bangs from his eyes.

Taliah placed the book on one of the shelves as she turned, “Alright then, I’ll be at the front counter if you need me. Or the owner, Mr. Shimada will be around as well if you need anything.” She quickly left Miquel as she headed back to the front of the store.

A smirk appeared as he walked deeper into the store. It wasn’t very big, but like most bookshops, it was deep and the light from the front dissipated. There was a soft halo of light against the back wall from a small lamp illuminating the area. A gentle sound of shuffling could be heard as Miquel approached the back. The sight he was met with was Hanzo, kneeling beside a box of books and carefully placing them on the back shelves for customers to read and purchase.

“Well well, lookie what we have here.” Miquel’s voice purred as he near whispered his words. “Looks like I’ve found the head dragon himself.”

\---

Hanzo’s blood ran cold as the book in his hand dropped to the floor when the familiar voice rang through his ears. Of course he had almost been expecting this to happen at some point, this menacing man had seen him protect Jesse on more than one occasion so he was deemed a threat. Deciding that being in this position was too vulnerable, he slowly stood and turned to face the man that haunted Jesse’s dreams.

“Ohayōgozaimasu,” Hanzo’s voice smooth and unwavering. “How can I help you sir?” No need to lack any professionalism.

“Heh, not with anything in this store I don’t think.” Miquel replied, taking a step forward. “Except you anyway.” A menacing grin plaguing his lips.

A chill shot through Hanzo’s spine, as his sharp eyes narrowed, “May I offer you some tea or possibly a swift kick in ass?”

Miquel chuckled, “You’re not very eloquent are you? I didn’t think you to be so crude Mr. Shimada.”

The angry prickling of anxiety sprinkled up his spine as he countered, “Forgive me for not being as welcoming to you as any of my other guests, I’m not used to entertaining abusive stalkers.”

“Abusive stalker huh?” Miquel’s voice cracking slightly as he slammed his fist into the shelf beside him, knocking the books off. “You have a lot of nerve dropping those kinds of insults on me.”

Hanzo leapt forward and threw Miquel against the back wall, his hand clutched around the collar of his shirt, “Listen to me you self entitled monster, you leave this shop, and you leave Seattle and never come back.” His grip tightening.

“You’re wrinkling my shirt…” Miquel said calmly and then placing his hand over Hanzo's, his grip firm. Taking his strength, he threw Hanzo’s hand off of him and twisted it behind his back. “Now then fucker, you leave mi rey alone, and I won’t have to hurt you.”

Hanzo laughed softly as he pushed back into Miquel, knocking him into the bookcase and shaking him loose. Then he grabbed him once more by the shirt and swinging him up against the wall, causing the walls of the store to shake. “Now you listen to me bakayarou, you leave that sweet, innocent man alone,” he paused only to tighten his grip on him. “Get the fuck out of my shop.” Throwing him to the ground, Hanzo straightens his shirt as he gazes down his nose at the scum before him.

Standing up slowly, Miquel’s eye twitched as he uncrumpled his now wrinkled shirt. “You mother fucker. I’ll kill you.”

Just as he went to throw himself at Hanzo, Taliah stepped in between them, “Excuse me…”

Both Hanzo and Miquel stopped and looked at her, startled as they seemed to forget that anyone else what there.

“Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave before I call the police.” Taliah’s voice stern as she glared at Miquel, phone in hand.

“Lo siento señorita...I did not mean to cause trouble for you.” Miquel pulled himself from his attack stance and straightened up. Looking over to Hanzo yet again, “We’ll speak again soon Mr. Shimada.”

Hanzo glared at him without saying a word and watched him leave, and Taliah close behind to ensure that he did. He waited until he had heard the chime in the door and the silence fall over the shop once again before he slid down and sunk to the floor.

After a few minutes of deep breathing, Hanzo heard the sound of Taliah’s boots clicking across the floor to the back of the shop. Taking a few more breaths, he opened his eyes and gazed back up at his employee. “Thank you for stopping that.”

Taliah kneeled down beside Hanzo and gently put her hand on his shoulder, “You really like Jesse don’t you?”

Hanzo looked taken aback for a moment before replying, “I do.”

She smiled at him as she stood back up and started picking up the books that were now scattered all over the floor. “Well you need to go make sure he’s ok. I don’t know which way Miquel went when he left, but maybe you should make sure he didn’t go after Jesse.”

\----

Jesse felt off all morning as he worked in the back of the bakery, kneading some dough. He felt this air of uncertainty that made him tingle nervously. Each time the panic spiked he’d reaffirm to himself that everything was alright and go back to working at the task at hand.

The sounds of Mr. and Mrs. Kyle working the front counter with their chipper demeanor was always enough to settle him down. Jesse wiped the sweat beading on his brow as he dropped the newest batch of dough into a bowl to rest. His hands quickly went to work to start working on the next task on his to do list. By the end of his shift he had baked up a storm, keeping himself focused and trying to knock that uncomfortable feeling out of his mind.

Noontime rolled around and Jesse had just finished punching out for the day. Working in the wee hours of the morning definitely helped to alleviate his stress levels. However, he was usually so tired, he’d end up missing Hanzo. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he sat at the cafe. A hot coffee mug was the only thing keeping his mind tethered to the world. Oh how he wanted to escape again. Every little ounce of peace he found was ultimately disrupted by his past in some way. Being here was no exception. Although, he had to admit to himself that this was the first time he had Hanzo. Jesse’s cheeks swelled with a rosy hue as he took a small sip of the bitter coffee.

Chelsea wasn’t working today sadly, so he had no one to really chatter with and unload his feelings to. No matter, Jesse was always worried that he was taking too much from their friendship. Of course they both vented and expressed their feelings to one another, but he felt like she catered to him more than he did her. It was something that Chelsea reassured him of time and time again, but he still couldn’t help worrying that he was a selfish and greedy friend.

Taking another sip of coffee, Jesse felt the cool breeze graze his back as the cafe door swung open and closed. The atmosphere here was soothing and it made him feel a little better. He wanted to sit at the Paperback Dragon, but he was afraid he’d come across as a whining nuisance. That was something he needed to work on, always worried that he’d be inconveniencing someone. Another long sip of the caffeinated drink stung his senses as a gentle hand placed itself on the small of his back, causing him to lurch forward into the counter. Luckily he had enough restraint to not spit it out of his mouth.

“Mi rey, you’re so jumpy. That can’t be good for your heart.”

Jesse felt his face go completely white. The hand on his back wrapped itself around his side, pulling him into the person who’s venom laced words clouded the air.

“You looked like you were expecting me,” Miquel said softly as he brushed tendrils of Jesse’s hair out of his eyes. “So no need to act so surprised.”

What in the hell was happening? How did he not think to keep a closer watch on his surroundings? How did he not set up some sort of alarm system in the cafe? He kept asking himself these questions over and over again as the grip around him tightened. His mind went blank and felt as if he had completely left his body. From the outside looking down at his helpless self being escorted out of the cafe and sheepishly being walked by Miquel. This man had a terrifying hold, and there seemed like there was no escape. In this state, there was nothing he could do to call for help, nothing but sheer silent panic filled him.

Miquel smiled confidently, “You know Jesse, it’s so nice of you to come with me. I know you’ll love going back home...instead of playing out some pointless and fruitless farce here.”

Jesse continued to remain silent, his tear filled eyes searching the streets for any sign of help. However, it was clear Miquel wasn’t going to allow them to be seen, taking them instead down one of the many small alleyways that snaked through the neighborhood. The other man’s hand felt like a brick of ice on his body, pulling him forward to a terrifying future.

\----

Hanzo searched the neighborhood, no sign of Miquel or Jesse. His heart raced even standing still as his worry grew more and more intense. “Where are you Jess? Please give me some sort of sign….” The last thought he had was to check the cafe once more and to ask the barista on staff if they had seen him.

Rushing in, Hanzo was met with a frantic Chelsea who was busy scolding the other barista.

“I can’t believe you just let him walk away like that Toby!” Her voice shrill.

Toby hung his head, looking genuinely guilty. “I’m sorry Chels, I didn’t know that was him…”

Chelsea smacked her forehead in disbelief and shook her head. Just before she went to get into more yelling, the sight of Hanzo filled her vision. “HANZO!”

Hanzo jumped instinctively at being called out so abruptly, “Yes! I’m here...I am looking for---”

“Jesse! I know. I had seen him being escorted out of here by You Know Who.” Chelsea interrupted and also shooting a distasteful glare to her employee.

Hanzo’s heart dropped into his stomach...Miquel found him and probably scared him to the point of shock. Balling his hand into a tight fist he slammed it against the door, causing the glass to splinter. Small shards inbedding themselves into the flesh of his hand, causing the blood to bead and drip slowly.

Chelsea stared in disbelief at the man before her. She had never seen this man get so upset before. To her, Hanzo was a gentle and easy going guy. He was never one to kick up a fuss about anything, even if it did displease him. She took a few cautious steps forward, “Hey, it’s alright...you can catch up to them still…” Chelsea’s hand outstretched to him in a calming manner.

Hanzo’s eyes were narrow slits of anger and concern that met hers for a moment before he bowed apologetically and took off out of the cafe.

\-----

At the end of a long and crooked alley, Miquel stood over a huddled and terrified Jesse. The sky began to blacken as the oh too common rain storm began to make its way through the city.

Hardly able to contain his pounding heart in his chest, Jesse mustered up the courage to look up at the man he once loved. The man he used to perceive as his world. The man who managed to take everything and crush it into a fine dust before his eyes. A thick gloss of choked back tears glassed over his eyes as a single tear slid down his tanned cheek and tangling in his beard. He parted his dry lips, “Why are you doing this?”

Miquel crouched down slowly, placing his hand gently on Jesse’s face. His fingers gingerly wiped the tear streak away. “Mi rey, I’ll do anything to take back what’s mine.” His soft touch shifted into a firm grasp. Miquel’s hand gripping Jesse’s chin firmly, jerking his face upward more to stare directly into his eyes. “Don’t you ever forget who you belong to Jesse McCree.”

Shutting his eyes tight, Jesse could hear the pounding in his ears as he bit back all of his feelings. Trying to numb himself of what was to possibly come next. The horrifying feeling of Miquel’s flesh on his made his skin crawl and stomach lurch as he felt himself be pulled closer. Close enough to feel the other man's breath on his face, a swift and unexpected jerk shook him out of the thralls of terror and back into reality. Jesse’s eyes shot open to see something he never expected, an enraged Hanzo looming over a tattered and dirty Miquel.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t beat you senseless?” Hanzo’s voice low and gritty as he stared daggers at the man laying in a heap at his feet.

Miquel looked shell shocked. He hadn’t even heard Hanzo arrive. Just the swift and aggressive pull and being thrown to the ground like a rag doll. A metallic taste hung in his mouth, as he pushed himself up right to look at his assailant more appropriately. “That was rude Mr. Shimada…”

“That’s not a reason,” Hanzo snapped through gritted teeth. It took every fiber of his being to hold back from punching the man in the face. His arms shook with anxious rage that was about to boil over in any given moment.

Jesse pressed himself flat against the side of the building, his stomach twisted and knotted. What was happening? How had he fallen so far from himself? Meemaw didn’t raise a defenseless coward. She made a strong and opinionated man who had no issue sticking up for himself or those he cared about. However Miquel had a way of destroying that side of him, making him feel worthless. Jesse looked at Hanzo. His eyes brimmed with tears seeing this gentle soul tip into such anger. ‘This is my fault’, Jesse thought to himself while he brush the hair out of his face with the back of his hand.

Hanzo grabbed Miquel by the shirt collar once more. His arm flexed, lifting the man up and pushing him firmly into the wall. “Listen to me...leave Jesse alone, or it will be Hell to pay. Do I make myself absolutely clear?” His voice was quiet. The discontent and fury evident.

“Crystal,” Miquel retorted as he slapped Hanzo’s hand off of his shirt. Taking a moment to straighten himself up, Miquel turned and looked at Jesse, a confident smile parting his blood stained lips.

Jesse’s face went white as he shot his gaze back to the ground. The feeling of Miquel’s vengeful stare made him sick, and it was all he could do to avert it completely. Grabbing the base of his jacket he tugged it uncomfortably, until the the sound of Miquel’s loafers were heard leaving the alley. His hands met his face in an embarrassed and horrified moment of sheer weakness as he sunk to the ground.

Hanzo rushed to Jesse’s side the moment he was certain that Miquel had left the vicinity. “Jesse, are you alright?” He kneeled beside the crest fallen man, making sure to give him the space he needed.

Reaching out, Jesse grabbed softly onto Hanzo’s forearm; squeezing it tenderly. Pulling his other hand from his red, tear stained face he smiled. “Thank ya Han…” He paused as more tears poured down his cheeks. “...I’d be lost without ya.”

The words struck Hanzo like a bus and all he could do was throw his arms around Jesse and pull him in close. He wanted to protect this man, care for this man. His own emotions getting him choked up, he pulled Jesse’s head into his chest and ran his fingers through his hair. The scent of Jesse’s musky shampoo filling his nostrils, calming him a bit. He was safe. Hanzo had got to him in time. Although the concern of how long Miquel would stay away lingered in his mind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, so sorry again about the massive delay. I am always plugging away at this when I can until I can get a chapter together because I just adore thinking about how cute Jesse and Hanzo are, bless them. Things have been going better and I am making time for my writing again. Please enjoy this latest chapter and please forgive any grammar/typos you may come across. Thank you all for your support!

The days peeled away slowly as the seasons changed and the colder weather set in. The rain turning to sleet and sometimes snow causing the small neighborhood to have a soft holiday feel. Jesse had finally got the nerve to call the police and get a restraining order on Miquel, so the past few weeks had been quiet. Hanzo had sat in the room with him through all the proceedings and every incident in regards that arose. It was the gentle peace of mind he had needed to be on his game at the bakery too. With Thanksgiving passed and Christmas approaching, the Kyle’s needed him now more than ever at his baking best. 

 

The days leading up to the holiday were hectic, but Jesse managed to make the best of them. He hadn’t gotten to see Hanzo hardly at all since the order was set and it made his heart hurt. However he was baking up a delicious surprise for the other man as a means of thanks. Having done research, the baker had learned the ins and outs of Hanzo’s taste buds. Such as what flavor creams he liked, how sweet was too sweet and his favorite relaxing snacks. All this was thanks to the Kyle’s and Chelsea, both of which had had ample time to study the some of the preferences Hanzo had. 

 

It was Christmas Eve eve and Jesse had just finished his latest batch of goodies to sample to see if these passed his rigorous quality check. So far the past few batches were decent, but nowhere near what he wanted them to be for Hanzo. Another thing Jesse had learned was that Hanzo was rather snobbish of his sweets and had no issue making his opinion on them known. That thought hung in Jesse’s mind with every batch. 

 

“No, this one ain’t right either….I think I whipped the egg whites too long. It ain’t fluffy enough…” He pulled his hand up to his jaw and stroked his beard in deep contemplation. Every mistake he made on these batches was trivial and novice level, and that’s what irked him the most.  _ Remember that Hanzo will pick up on this _ ...he thought to himself as he set the latest batch aside and grabbed the bag of matcha powder. “Alrigh’ Jess, ya got this.” Jesse said to stoke his fire once more whilst rolling up his now filthy sleeves. 

 

\-----

 

Hanzo laid on his couch staring at the ceiling after a long and rather trying day at the store. This time of the year was when they were of course at their busiest. Not just with sales, but visitors in general wanting to see the far eastern inspired store nestled in the midst of this small Seattle neighborhood. He had never been more tired of welcoming new customers in his life. Reaching up, Hanzo pulled the ribbon from his slightly frazzled top knot, letting his silky black hair fall to his shoulders. It was was the sweet relief he craved after a 14 hour day. He let his nimble fingers slide through his hair, pushing it to his preferred side and dropping his arm heavily on his forehead. Taking slow and even breaths, he felt his body slowly relax and unknot itself.  However, something else piqued his senses just as he was moments away from a near nap. A soft and soothing scent of sweets managed to curl itself around him and causing him to salivate. It was something he was very much used to living above the bakery, however, this smell reminded him of Japan and of his childhood. 

 

Sitting up slowly, Hanzo sniffed the air. His nose wrinkling in delight as the fragrant air tickled his nose. The smell permitted his apartment and was getting to be rather strong, which meant it wasn’t from the bakery, but from Jesse’s unit. A small grin curled on his lips. It warmed Hanzo’s heart to know that Jesse was happily baking away in his apartment. This was something that Hanzo hadn’t smelled in quite some time because Jesse had been too distraught and anxious to casually bake for himself. 

 

After enjoying the soft and delightful scents for a moment more, Hanzo walked over to the kitchen counter. Grabbing a small box that he had carefully wrapped in cactus wrapping paper and adorned it with a small ribbon, he smiled. Soon he’d be able to give Jesse the gift he had for him. His cheeks flushed a soft rosey pink as he set the box back down. It wasn’t much, but it was something that he had made for Jesse and was proud of. 

 

\-----

 

“Alrigh’ McCree, I think ya got yerself a fine batch!” Jesse said to himself confidently. 

 

It had taken a lot longer than he had originally planned, but the sweets for Hanzo were finally done. Each morsel tenderly wrapped in delicate hand painted wrappers and nestled in an ornate hand woven basket. He beamed at his finished product. It had been such a long time since he last put this much effort into a gift. A smile plastered his flour drenched face as he sat himself down on the couch, sprawling out. 

 

“Ahhhh, ya earned it cowboy…” his hand reaching into his flannel shirt pocket, pulling out a beat up box of cigarillos. Popping it into his mouth, he just basked in it for a second before going over to the window and stepping out on the fire escape. 

 

A soft blanket of snow covered the mildly rusted metal of the fire escape. The street below looked like a charming holiday scene, with lights and wreaths adorning just about every building and window. Pulling out his lighter, Jesse snapped the flint, bringing the flame to his cigarillo. He drew in deep and satisfied breaths as the smoke flooded his senses. A soft sigh of contentment spilled out of his lips with a vast, swirling cloud of smoke. Jesse sat in comfortable silence as the sky wept large flakes of snow, catching on his eye lashes. His amber eyes wandered to the soft glow coming from Hanzo’s window. Wanting nothing more than to see the man he had so madly fallen in love with. 

 

Jesse McCree had yet to explain his feelings to Hanzo, though he know that they were close. The nature of how close escaped him. He was mildly inept when it came to knowing how others felt about him if it wasn’t expressly said. Taking a hit, he mused to himself on that thought. But come Christmas Eve, that was all going to change. Both he and Hanzo were invited to a Christmas party at the cafe, and he was determined to confess his feelings. His stomach knotted in that instant. Another slow drag helped him ease the emotional tension he was harboring. Yes, tomorrow was to be the day he laid it all on the line. Every time he thought about it he took another drag. His cigarillo burned quickly at the rate he went. 

 

After the last puff of smoke, Jesse dropped the remains in his tin and stepped back through his window. A shower would serve him well. Brushing his hair back, he felt the cold, dewy droplets fling off the ends of each strand as he sauntered into his bathroom. 

 

——

 

The sun had managed to stay away for Christmas Eve. The sky was laden with clouds, ready to burst with snow. Jesse had awoke at 3am to make sure he was set and ready to start his shift at the bakery. The Kyle’s had the bakery decked merry and bright with all sorts of baked decor overflowing from their shelves and baskets. The centerpiece was a Christmas village made out of gingerbread that was made to look like the small Seattle neighborhood. The smell of cinnamon and cream overwhelmed him as he made up some of the last few major orders that were set to be picked up that day. 

 

From 4am to 4pm, Jesse was in a complete daze. All the rushing, laughter and holiday well wishing overflowed and his cheeks were positively crimson from the cheer. His locker in the back room was filled with cards and small gifts from the bakery’s many patrons. He felt so blessed to be here and finally have some semblance of peace. But when the doors closed at 3 and they spent the last hour cleaning up, Jesse’s mind wandered to his basket of treats upstairs. Stomach knotting again, he buried himself in his remaining chores. 

 

——

 

“Hanzo will you calm down! You’re getting all sweaty…” Taliah whined as she leaned away from her boss. “You’ve been talking about this party for weeks and now you look like you’re about to jump out of your damn skin.” The part timer teased relentlessly, her curvy body trembling with laughter. 

 

Chelsea walked over from one of the other tables she was tending. Instead of her usual barista attire, she and Taliah wore matching bodycon dresses, hers was red and her significant others’ green. Her cheeks warm from the amount of eggnog she had already consumed, Chelsea wrapped her arms around Taliah’s shoulders. “T, you gotta stop teasing him...can’t you see the  _ Stoic Mr. Shimada  _ is nervous about seeing his crush…” Chelsea’s words slurred slightly. 

 

“Alright, Chels...you maybe need to slow down on the eggnog…” She replied, leaning back into her. 

 

Hanzo couldn’t help but fidget. He wore his usual black V neck, and form fitting black jeans. However, he dressed it up with a red vest covered in bells, holly and ribbon for the occasion. He even put a sprig of holly in his top knot in the spirit of the holiday.  Hanzo’s cheeks were on fire, and he bit his lip in an uncomfortable and impatient manner. He was so anxious to see Jesse, that his normally calm and collected demeanor was clouded with discomfort. 

 

Taliah looked back at Hanzo, a smile on her face, “Listen boss, you need to take a few deep breaths and chill. Ok?” 

 

“Ok.” He replied curtly. He hated when people commanded him how to feel, even if it came from a place of genuine concern. 

 

“Wow...he is flustered...come on T, come help me with the cupcaaaaaakes,” Chelsea slurred as she pulled Taliah to her feet and away from the counter. 

 

Then, he was alone. Left to stew on his feelings of mild panic and anticipation. Hanzo was glad though, he hated having anyone look upon him with any sort of pity. The bookstore owner was far too proud for that. 

 

——

 

The clock struck 7 and Jesse McCree sauntered into the cafe, greeted by a blast of warmth and the scent of food and spirits. A wonderful glowing halo encompassed everyone as he hung up his coat on the rack and then pulling his parcel close to his side. The baker completely nervous about seeing the one man he’d been dying to see for weeks. Jesse’s stomach in complete knots as his calloused hands tightened around the basket. 

 

“Lord McCree, simmer down…” He whispered to himself as he took a few steps forward into the cafe. He knew right where Hanzo would be, but the anxiety and excitement was making it overwhelming. 

 

Suddenly a quick jab to his side jerked him out of his panicked daze as he snapped around to find a giggling Chelsea glowing and folded in laughter. 

 

“Shoot darlin’ ye scared me out my damn boots!”

 

“Hehe, sorry Jess, I couldn’t resist. You just looked so tightly wound, and I wanted to see you loosen up.” She replied, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

 

The lights in the cafe dimmed as Jesse’s heart rate calmed. All he had to do was talk to the counter and see the one person who had stood by him through the hardest parts of this transition. Never once asking for anything in return or complaining about the countless panicked text messages and phone calls. Jesse was so grateful for Hanzo.

 

Feeling the firm hands of his friend on his back, Jesse was pushed through the crowd of people to the main counter. His forehead glistening with nervous sweat and his mouth completely dried out.

 

“Alright Jess, I’ll be working the tables...good luck!” Chelsea teased as she ran off.

 

_ “Ok Jess...he’s right there...right there.”  _ He thought to himself as he took the last remaining steps towards Hanzo. Clearing his throat and hiding the basket behind his back, he spoke up over the roar of people and humming of Christmas carols, “Hey Han!”

 

Hanzo jumped slightly as he turned around, a nervous smile on his face. “J-J-Jesse! Hello!” His voice nearly cracking.

 

The baker had never heard Hanzo so frazzled. It was adorable. A man of generally few words and a stoic demeanor, in a fit of anxious stuttering made his heart absolutely melt. To top it off, the vest Hanzo was wearing as the holly in his hair was the icing on the handsome cake that Jesse couldn’t wait to indulge in. His cheeks burning intensely, Jesse mustered up the voice to speak, “You look amazin’ Han.”

 

“Ahem….So do you Jesse.” Hanzo replied, regaining his composure. He awkwardly ran his fingers through his well groomed goatee. Hanzo then slipped his gift into his back pocket, this wasn’t the moment to give it to him. 

 

The night they spent sitting in the back corner of the cafe, farthest from the stage and enjoying warm conversation. Both Jesse and Hanzo unwound their tensions within the first 15 minutes and the rest of the time they chatted and laughed. Jesse giving Hanzo the basket of pastries he had worked so hard on. Jesse still unable to profess his adoration for this man. They enjoyed the treats. Sipping eggnog and mulled cider whilst watching their neighbors and friends frolic and make merry. They watched as the party settled down and everyone break off into groups and couples. Each doing their own gift exchanges and annual traditions. 

 

Hanzo took a sip of his wine and smiled warmly at the handsomely rugged and albeit mildly drunk man he had the pleasure of sitting with. “Mr. McCree, I am so happy to be sitting here with you on this Christmas Eve.” He reached back into his pocket and pulled out the the small gift he had so tenderly wrapped. With a slight shake of his hand, he set it down on the table in front of Jesse. “This is for you.” Hanzo quickly looked away, cheeks stained red from more than just the amount of wine he had. 

 

“Han..I...thanks sug’...” Jesse’s eyes swelled up with happy tears. He carefully takes the gift and smiles so big his cheeks began to ache. His heart racing a mile a minute. “May I?”

 

“Of course.”

 

The feeling of the supple wrapping paper on his fingers makes a limp form in his throat. Jesse had never opened a gift so cautiously. He wanted to save the darling cactus wrapping paper.  _ Where did Hanzo even find this? _ He mused to himself. It was a small box. Jesse slowly opened it to reveal a small iPod with a set of headphones and a note. Jesse’s name was written so beautifully in calligraphy that it almost made him spill over. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Jesse began to read the note:

 

_ My Dearest Jesse, _

 

_ I want to thank you for coming into my life. The moment I saw you, you took my breath away.  The second you spoke to me, was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. The instant you smiled at me, was the instant that my life was nearly complete. The one thing that’s missing is having the honor and privilege of having you be…. _

 

The message cut off, causing the now weeping Jesse to look up at this man who wrote the most wonderful things. Only to see Hanzo looking at him adoringly, crying as well.

 

“...Having you be….mine….” Hanzo’s words a gentle whisper as he smiled at Jesse McCree, the man who stole the dragon’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that you can follow me on Tumblr: McHanzo-plz for updates as to when I will be posting the chapters. Thank you again and I hope you all are having a wonderful new year so far.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to say thank you to all of you who have been waiting so patiently for each chapter! I’m so sorry for the delays all the time, but that’s life when you try to juggle so many things.   
> Anyway, here is the long awaited (and albeit out of season) Christmas chapter!  
> As always grammar and typos are a plenty so, my bad.

A soft and velvety snow fell on Christmas day, as the street remained predominantly silent save for a few cars. There was a halo behind the clouds as the sun tried to burst through. It was truly the best Christmas morning Jesse McCree could ever recall having. The man of his dreams proclaimed in such sweet words, his love for him. A soft flush of pink spilled onto his cheeks as his mind wandered back to the response he granted to Hanzo.

 

_ “....I will always be yours.”  _ He recalled, his memory a tingling fizz of euphoric warmth and jubilation. Jesse couldn’t help but squeak a little sound of excitement as he pulled himself out of bed. Perhaps his biggest regret was going home to his own apartment, but that was alright. He and Hanzo were going to spend the day together and bask in the fresh feeling of their deepening relationship. Nothing could spoil Christmas day for him. 

 

Making himself a hot cup of coffee, Jesse let the bitter liquid spill across his taste buds. The bold roast was definitely what he needed to get his mind and body going today. Every sip was accompanied by a small sigh as he let his mind drift back to the night before. Hanzo was so sweet and charming, saying things that Jesse had never dreamed of hearing. Pulling the mug from his lips, he placed his fingers against them. A sweet moment of wonder, imagining what his love tasted like. Giddy with excitement, Jesse finished his coffee and went to groom himself for the day. 

 

——

 

A nervous Hanzo stood in the door of his apartment, dressed and ready for the day. His hand bounced gently against his thigh in a nervous manner as he waited for an impending knock from the ruggedly sweet man of his dreams.

 

He stood dazed and only the sound of a soft knock brought him out of his haze. A fluttering of butterflies flew rampantly through his body, his hand tingled as it reached forward and opened the door. His eyes hungry for Jesse and wanting to dine on the site of him. 

 

Hanzo’s eyes locked with a rosy cheeked Jesse; who wore a smile so coy and shy that Hanzo thought his heart was going to leap out of his chest. The tingles prickled up the back of Hanzo’s neck as he returned a timid smile and soft chuckle of endearment.

 

“Merry Christmas Jesse…” Hanzo’s voice soft and velvety smooth as he extended his hand out to the baker.

 

Jesse’s hand trembled with delight as he grabbed his love’s hand tenderly. “Merry Christmas Han.”

 

Leading Jesse into the apartment, the two were met with the soft aroma of tea and a warmth of light from the few Christmas lights Hanzo had set up in his apartment. There was even some lights adorning the small bonsai tree on the windowsill near the couch. 

 

“Oh Han, this is just perfect…” Jesse said quietly, almost under his breath. 

 

“I’m glad you like it. Have a seat and I’ll grab our tea and treats.” Hanzo replied, the smile still glued to his face. 

 

Jesse sat down on the familiar couch and took a deep breath. His nose filled with the smells of confections, herbs and spices. Hanzo always knew how to set a mood with atmospheric impact, and he had done a particularly good job for Christmas. Jesse was almost beside himself with how happy and comfortable he felt. In the moments that he waited, he let his mind wander back to earlier in the morning when he thought of Hanzo’s taste. Biting his lower lip reflexively, the gaze of one captivating man pulled Jesse’s attention from his thoughts. 

 

“Oh! Han, it’s just so cozy in here! How’d ya do it?” He stammered quickly, as he jerked his head to gaze around the room. Wasn’t his smoothest transition, but he had hoped it’d be enough to cover his lip nibbling. 

 

Standing and shifting a bit uncomfortably as the blood rushed to other parts of his body, Hanzo leaned down and set the tray of tea and cookies on the table. “Heh, oh you know...that uhhh Google? Right. I used that. Works like a charm!” His voice crackling slightly at the end of his sentence. 

 

“Good ol’ Google, what’d we do without it huh?”

 

Hanzo sat down beside Jesse leaving a sizable gap between the two of them. He grabbed one of the decorative pillows and discreetly placed it on his lap. “Tell me about it…” Hanzo could feel the heat burning his face. Seeing Jesse biting his lip had set him off, a little too well and he didn’t want the baker to get the wrong idea. After all, they were finally official and taking it the slow and steady pace was the smart thing to do. 

 

Jesse grabbed one of the mochi treats from the tray and took a bite to settle his nerves some more. He thought at this point he would be a little less awkward and a bit more in control of his spontaneous embarrassment. Nevertheless he focused on the sweet and delectable taste of the mochi. The taste of Hanzo’s candies and snacks always made him wonder why he hadn’t become a baker or a candy maker. “MmmmMMMM! Delicious Han.” McCree said with a beaming grin, his whiskers coated in powdered sugar. 

 

Smiling from ear to ear, Hanzo leaned in to Jesse with napkin in hand, “Goodness me, your turning into even more of a treat yourself.” His voice soft as he delicately wiped the dust from the baker’s face. It took every fiber of him not to linger and just lick the remnants off of his enticing lips.

 

McCree’s heart was pounding. He could feel Hanzo’s breath against his face as a tender touch from the other man's hand carefully cleaned his beard. “Heh, naw,” Jesse managed to fumble out some words. The heat from his face was absolutely overwhelming and he was far too flustered to speak beyond that. Something as simple as being attended to was setting off his emotions, but in the best possible way. 

 

Hanzo stood up quickly, the pillow dropping off of his lap as he made a beeline for the stereo. “I think some holiday music would be relaxing, don’t you agree?” The normally composed air to his voice in disarray. He could feel the heat from Jesse and it was incredibly maddening to him. He wanted to just let loose and drink him in, bit by bit. The amount of angst swelling within him as he set his Holiday playlist to go. 

 

_ Baby it’s cold outside... _ The music, how appropriate. Hanzo turned to have Jesse standing right in front of him. Because of how often he had seen the baker slumped over, Hanzo had forgotten how tall the man actually was. Tilting his head up, he met the rosy cheeked and starry eyed gaze of Jesse McCree. 

 

“H-han, m-may I have this dance?” Jesse extended his mildly trembling hand and locked eyes with the shorter man. 

 

“I’d be absolutely delighted.” He replied, taking Jesse's hand in his. Their fingers intertwined as Hanzo felt the baker gently pull him close, wrapping an arm around his waist. What an incredible and intoxicating feeling. Placing his other hand softly on Jesse’s shoulder, the two began to sway to the music. 

 

——

 

The two danced for hours. By the end of the playlist, Hanzo’s head was laying against Jesse’s chest and Jesse’s head rest atop Hanzo’s. At that point they were just holding each other and barely even moving to the faint music that had nearly faded out. Every second they spent marinating in each other’s existence as if this was the last day they’d be able to. 

 

About ten minutes after the music had stopped, Jesse broke the silence. “Thank you Han.” His voice soft. 

 

Hanzo lifted his head to look up at him, “For what?”

 

“For savin’ me.” The baker’s eyes filled with happy tears as they immediately began to drip down his cheeks. The smile on his face beaming like the summer sun. 

 

Completely taken aback, Hanzo felt the tearful lump form in his throat. “Jesse, you saved me too.” The normally composed Bookstore owner could feel the warmth of tears trickle down his own cheeks as he stared at this man who evoked such emotions out of him. “And I’d save you as many times you need me to.”

 

The two came crashing into each other, their lips joined as their tears danced together. Their tender, raw emotions flooding between them, their embraces tightening. 

 

Jesse felt a weight drop as he ran his fingers through Hanzo’s thick black hair, and letting them linger on the shaved stubble. Oh how he had longed to feel the warmth of this man, taste this man, and how he couldn’t wait to  _ feel  _ this man. His tears continued falling in sheer joy with every moment that passed. Jesse could feel Hanzo, his emotions, his wants and needs. All he had to do was just reach out and touch him. 

 

Hanzo slowly pulled away, his hands still cupping this precious man’s scruffy face. He was scanning the expression on Jesse’s face, it was the same as his. “Jesse...I…”

 

“Han,” Jesse softly placed a finger on Hanzo’s lips. “I want ya to wait a moment sug’...” he pulled the other man back in to his chest, putting his hand on the back of his head. “Yer the most wonderful man I have ever met. And I mean that. Yer kind, selfless, charmin’ to Hell and not to mention gorgeous. Why in all the world would ya want a broken up cowboy like me?” 

 

Taken slightly aback by Jesse’s candid question, Hanzo didn’t move, he hugged him tighter and replied, “Because, I too am broken, and you’re the missing piece I need.” His voice shaking slightly from feeling so overwhelmed. 

 

Jesse titled Hanzo’s Head up gently, feeling the well groomed goatee against his fingers. “Hanzo Shimada, I need ya to be whole too. I love you.”

 

Words locked in his throat, Hanzo smiled as he managed, “And I you.” Wiping Jesse’s face with his back of his hand Hanzo stared into the baker’s eyes until he could muster the response he wanted. “I love you too Jesse McCree.” He paused. “You are more than you give yourself credit for. Want to know what I see?”

 

Through his joyous sobs, the baker managed to nod. 

 

“I see a man who’s been loved, a man who’s been tested by the world and those around him. I see a man who’s resilience is a trait any would trade for. A man who despite everything presses on trying to find happiness. A funny, sweet, beautiful man who the second I saw you, took my breath away. You are amazing Jesse McCree, inside and out.” Hanzo finished his thoughts as he gazed happily into Jesse’s eyes. “And I love you.”

 

Jesse felt like he was hit by an enormous emotional truck, all of this open and candid conversation was so much more than he had ever had. Each time Hanzo had said  _ I love you  _ had been like a comforting blanket wrapped around him. He wanted to bury himself in this man and his love. “I...I love you Han. Thank you for being so patient with me. Helping me and being wonderful…” his words started to get lost in his sobs. All he wanted to do was whisk the two of them away and just lay in the glow of their love. 

 

The rest of Christmas they spent cuddling, talking, kissing and eating. Celebrating the holiday and enjoying each other’s company. This lasted until midnight where they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, soaking their love in.


End file.
